Where's the Party?: Wedding Plans

As soon as we had set the date I contacted our church to be sure that date was open for our ceremony. While I was at it I went ahead and booked the fellowship hall for the reception in case we couldn't find another venue.

I was pretty sure we wouldn't have our reception there, though, because I knew we were planning to serve wine.

In the beginning stages of the planning we decided the reception was going to be a fundraising event for a charity of our choice that is dear to us. We really don't need gifts. But then as the hunt for the perfect reception venue ensued, it was clear the charity event part of it was blocking us from finding a great venue.

We were certain that we wanted an indoor/outdoor option in case of rain, because Lord knows it rains in these parts.

Our first choice was the history museum. The space is so unique, and so great, and the view from there is beautiful. It sits right on the water, and of course it is filled with so many interesting things. But there were too many things about it that just didn't work. Our reception will begin at about 3:30 or 4, and they couldn't have us until 5. And if we did it at 5 we would have to serve dinner, and we plan to serve light hors d'oeuvres. There is nowhere to serve dinner there, and even if we served it outside, it would be too cold for that. The weather here is on the cooler side, even in June, and being near the water makes it even cooler. An evening outdoor dinner near the bay just didn't sound like the right thing to us. Another thing that didn't work was the fact that there wasn't one room there that could hold all of our guests at the same time. There couldn't be a toast, or any announcement that everyone would be able to hear. We wrestled with this one for a while and tried to find a way to make it work out, but it just wasn't the space for our event.

Onward.

We liked the idea of a view of the water, so we looked at a local restaurant, Anthony's. It has a beautiful downstairs room with a view. It sits right on the water. This bombed from almost the first moment. No matter that the cost for it was going to be thousands of dollars, they didn't want us there past 5 p.m., even if our guests were going to come up to the main floor for dinner after the reception. They didn't like that at all, because they needed to accommodate their regular customers. Even when we mentioned a rehearsal dinner the manager wasn't very eager to have us, saying that they needed to be able to serve their regular Friday night crowd. I was not overjoyed with this conversation.

Next I called a place that has beautiful grounds and gardens. I was so hoping for this, as it seemed our last option for a reception close to the church where we could still serve wine. It was booked.

Chuck and I both agreed we didn't want our guests to have to drive very far for the reception, so I started looking harder for a place that could meet our needs. I found a community center that has a lot of character and is relatively inexpensive. It has a view if you go outside, but the best thing is it can old everyone, it has an outdoor option, and it's close to the church. We drove it when we went to take a look and clocked it at 8 miles. It's really neat, and was originally a school in the late 1800s.

I got a confirmation email that they received our deposit and rental agreement, and we are on our way to wedding day.

Next post: The Pre-marriage journey-- getting ready for our future.

To Veil, Or Not to Veil: Wedding Plans

The Veil.
Or no veil? Or maybe a small veil? Or maybe just a nice flower in my hair? Or nothing at all-- just a nice updo?

I still haven't decided 100 percent.
But here's the story of the hunt for the perfect head cover.

When I tried on The Dress, (referenced in the previous post here) the gal helping me brought out a veil to complete the look and help me make a decision. The veil did not help. It looked stupid. I hated it.
So she found a different one, a Russian or bridal birdcage veil. Again, not me. She found another veil that was about elbow length and definitely had a better shape, but I still felt stupid.
My Wedding Gown Shopping Entourage helped scour the store for something that would be the perfect touch to go with the absolutely gorgeous gown, and so did the sales girl. They came up with a few things that looked pretty. One was my favorite, but it was too white to go with the dress. It was an alligator clip silk flower type fascinator.
But I still wasn't really satisfied with it.

I kind of wanted a veil, but I was going for a sophisticated and unique look. I'm an older bride, so I didn't want the tiara, and I didn't want to look like a granny trying to be a Cinderella. I left the store with nothing for my head.

I got back online and started looking again. I found some really cool things on Etsy. I found fascinators and caps, I found jeweled hairpieces, and all sorts of things. But I decided that I really did want a veil after Chuck made a comment that my hair style wouldn't probably matter so much because my hair would be covered up by a veil anyway. That's when I realized he was envisioning me walking down the aisle, and that vision included a veil. And it wasn't that I hated veils, I just didn't like the ones I had tried on.

So as I browsed Etsy.com, I tried to find something that I thought would look better than a tiara and poof veil. Here's one of them, and not the one I ordered. If you love this one, I found it here. There were several different Juliet Caps on the Gilded Shadows Etsy site at the time I was browsing, and I started to fall in love with them.

I wrestled with which one I really loved, and I mean I really wrestled. I kept the photos of these veils in my favorites list on Etsy for weeks. I would look at them and decide on one, then sleep on that decision and look at it the next day and decide on a different one. I finally settled on one and contacted the seller to see if she could customize the veil for me. She was absolutely great to work with and I received the veil(s) exactly as I ordered them.
(Disclaimer. Neither the owners of Etsy.com, nor the owner of Gilded Shadows know that I'm posting this. I did not receive any goods or services at a discounted rate, nor did Etsy.com or the owner of Gilded Shadows give me anything for free. I am posting this of my own free will to document our wedding plans, and to share information with readers about the process of shopping for a veil for myself.)

For those of you who haven't bought a veil lately, they are pricey. In bridal shops they are super expensive, and the one I ordered on Etsy wasn't what I would call inexpensive, but I do love it. I didn't want that cheap, crunchy, stiff veil feeling, and the ones I received are beautiful and soft.

I decided that because my gown is timeless, yet couture, I wanted a dramatic head cover. Once again, not a Cinderella look, but elegant and sophisticated. And I wanted the veil to be really long. My train is cathedral length, so I wanted the veil to be that length also. But then, what if I got tired of dragging it around at the reception. Maybe I needed two layers of veil, one long and one shorter. And I needed them all separate so I could have the choice to wear one and not the other.

I ordered a cathedral length veil separate from the cap, and asked her to make a second veil that is elbow length, also separate, in case I didn't like the longer one, or wanted to change to a shorter one for the reception.

It didn't take long for the package to come in the mail, but as I waited I knew that if it came and I hated it, I would just resell it and find another option. As soon as it arrived I couldn't wait to try it on and see if it, too, felt stupid. It didn't. I loved it. But I want to wait to make the final decision on whether it really works once I go for the dress fitting.

Next Post: The reception venue

Date, Venue, Dress: Wedding Plans

It occurred to me the other day that I should really be documenting some of the stuff we're doing to prepare for the wedding.

So far:
1. We've chosen the date.
2. We've chosen the ceremony venue -- our church
3. I've chosen a dress.
As soon as we had the date chosen, I knew I had better get on it.
I started looking online to see the various styles and silhouettes, but I knew I wanted to try on gowns to see what looked best on me. Although I thought an A line was a good thing for me, I figured I should try on a variety and see what actually was most flattering off the hanger and on me.

It was a fun process for me. I really didn't expect it to be fun. I like shopping for clothes, but in recent years I've not enjoyed it as much as I once did. I guess it goes along with getting older, having a ton of things to do, and what looks good is sometimes just not practical for me.

But back to the fun part.
One of my friends who volunteers at the school, Gwen, was in the office one day and I told her I was going for a scheduled wedding dress appointment at a local dress shop called, "The Wedding Bell." She offered to come along.
So the two of us went and I tried on about 10-12 dresses. The girl who was helping me there was super nice and listened as I told her what I thought I liked. She pulled the dresses, brought them into a huge dressing room and hung them on the rack, and then helped me in and out of each dress.
I would walk out to where Gwen was seated, in front of gigantic mirrors, and both the sales girl and Gwen listened as I dissed each gown for different reasons. There was the "too princessy" dress, and the "looks like a cake topper," dress, and the "trying to be a Hollywood star," dress. I was picky about the material, and I didn't want to look like an old lady trying to wear her daughter's dress. Don't get me wrong. Each one of these was absolutely beautiful. There really was not one ugly dress in the place. They just weren't THE dress.

My next appointment was at David's Bridal a week or so later. Gwen wanted to accompany me again, and I invited another friend, Shane to come along with us. This appointment was shorter. I didn't try on as many gowns, and the dressing room was small. The lady who was helping me was awesome. She put me in the right underpinnings, helped me in and out of the dresses, and helped me narrow down exactly what I was looking for. Once again, I would get into a gown, come out into the viewing room where Gwen and Shane were seated, and get their opinion. And once again, not an ugly dress in the place. Wedding gowns are just beautiful.

I left David's Bridal thinking I really liked the final gown I tried on. But I still wanted to go to one more place.

I made a date to visit "Something Blue," and this time Kristina joined us.
It was the same drill there, except I was left on my own to get in and out of the gowns, and there were no underpinnings offered like there were at the other two shops.
My entourage gave great feedback on each gown as I came out to the viewing area where they were seated, and there were two that I had the sales lady put on my account as my favorites. But I was getting worn out from trying on dresses, and with each one, I kept thinking of the gown at David's Bridal. Once that appointment was finished and we walked out to the sidewalk, I told them I really just kept thinking of the Vera Wang dress at David's Bridal. They all agreed that I should go back and try it on again, and they all offered to go right then and be with me while I did it.

Without an appointment, we walked into David's Bridal and a sweet girl there helped me into the dress and stayed with us to help me make the decision. She brought veils and other head pieces out for me to try on, and she was just great. Especially considering she was not my original sales gal, and I assume they work on commission.

I made my decision right then that the Vera Wang gown was my dress. I placed the hold on it and it has now been ordered and should arrive in April. I would post a photo here now, but I really want that traditional wedding day. I don't want Chuck to see the dress until that day, so I'll post a photo after the wedding.

Next post: The veil

Just a note to say...

Hand written cards and notes are things that I can't throw away. I have small tubs filled with them, and have them labeled, "cards from family," and "cards from friends."

When I was a reporter I saved every notecard I received from readers. In the journalism business you rarely get kudos, and acknowledgment from readers is especially rare, unless they are complaining. I kept them in my desk, and whenever I was having a hard day I would pull one out to read. Those notes always lifted me a little, and reminded me why I really did love what I was doing.

Recently I have received two special notecards. One was a congratulations on our engagement from a friend at church. It was very unexpected, and so sweet to receive.

The other one was delivered in December. It was a hand-written card expressing thanks from someone at church who was moved by the Christmas program I helped organize.

I have always loved the written word, and I especially enjoy a hand-written note in the mail. Emails are fine, text messages have become necessary for me, a phone call is preferable for a longer conversation, but the hand-written card still has a special place in my world.

Engaged

It was just a few days before my birthday in October, on a weekend, and Sean and Lilly were acting a little funny and whispering and giggly most of the day, and the next.  I figured it was some kind of birthday secret.

Chuck and I had already been to choose this ring. (The picture makes it look yellow, but it's white gold.) I spotted it at an estate sale, but the estate sale where we found it was for only one weekend. I knew it was the ring for me the moment I saw it, and it is from the 1930s. It has a matching band with channel set diamonds, and a little lock that locks the engagement ring and band together. I plan to get them soldered together prior to the wedding. I absolutely love this ring. I saw it in the glass display case from pretty far away, and couldn't stop looking at it. I tried it on and it fit my finger almost perfectly-- something that never happens. We looked at a few of the others, but none of them compared to this one. I couldn't wait to have it, but I was happy when Chuck put it in his pocket and didn't mention it again.

I really wanted a surprise proposal. I had put the ring out of my mind. I didn't even know where it was. So, I was convinced the kids' giddiness was about a birthday gift or event for me. They brought in some roses and gave them to me just before dinner. Then we all sat down to dinner and Chuck got out of his chair and got down on one knee and proposed.

It was a beautiful moment. I loved the way he involved each of the kids in it. Sean was so overcome with emotion, and so happy, he was laughing and crying at the same time. Of course I was a little overwhelmed, and Chuck was also emotional, and we were all sort of laughing and amused by Sean's reaction.

I figured we would be engaged for a while before we started planning for a wedding, but when I brought up the "when" a week or so after the engagement, he said June sounded good. So we quickly started to plan, and we met with our pastor, and started a pre-marriage conversation that includes day-of ceremony planning as well as some pre-marital counseling type things. And that has become my favorite part of the planning. But the other stuff is really fun, too.

I had a few friends with me the day I made a final decision on my dress. Gwen, another mom at the school, went with me for the first fitting appointment at a place on 6th Avenue in Tacoma, and then she and Shane were with me the day I went to David's Bridal and was about 90-95% sure on a Vera Wang dress. But I wanted to go one more place, so we all went to a dress shop in Puyallup called Something Blue, and Kristina met us there. I tried on several there, and they were all pretty, but I still really loved the Vera Wang dress. So we went to David's Bridal that day and I tried it on again and made the final decision to order it.

I've been all over Etsy and Pinterest gathering ideas. I ordered a veil, but will wait until it arrives to make a decision on how or if I will wear it. I've ordered a pair of shoes, but they are really reasonably priced, so I might resell them and choose a different pair if they don't work out for me.

We've been to one bakery for cake tasting so far, and we just made the final decision on the reception venue. I'm on the way to having all of the colors decided, but still working on some of the reception details.

It's going to be a fun ride to June, and then we'll have a honeymoon, and as soon as we're back we'll have a summer packed full of activities and events.

Photo Card

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Things to Do In Denver When You're...

I always think of the movie, "Things to do in Denver When You're Dead," anytime someone mentions Denver. And when I first started to compile this post more than a month ago I wanted to include more pictures. However, I'm having technical difficulties with photos for this blog.
I've decided to go ahead without them.

This is by no means a comprehensive list of things to do in the city of Denver, Colo. But these are the things I did while I was there for a few days.

I was there at the invitation of my friend Jeannie, and I think we must have walked at least five miles each day. But we would have walked a lot more miles without the 16th St. shuttle bus called the RTD Free MallRide. This is a true leg saver. You can hop on and off whenever you like, and it makes getting where you need or want to go so much easier. It runs the length of 16th Street, and if you make a mistake and don't get off when you are supposed to, no worries, it circles back around.

Visit the Tattered Cover Bookstore. I already posted about this place, but this is the most amazing bookstore. In the era of digital books, finding a real independent bookstore that has two floors of book shelves and tables filled with books is comforting to book lovers such as myself.

See the Kirkland museum. It is located at the studio of Vance Kirkland, a Colorado painter who was a synesthetic artist. It showcases some of his large paintings, and visitors can go into his studio, which still has the straps hanging from the ceiling that he used for his work. He put the canvas flat on a table, on roller skates, and suspended himself over the canvas so he could reach the middle.

If you love decorative art, this is the place for you! This museum has the most comprehensive collection of modernist decorative art on this continent (North America). It's a mere $7 for adults, and the museum includes art from 1880 to 1980. You'll see furniture, paintings, Art Deco glass, some plastic, ceramic, metal, wood and dishes. I spent a little time there, but could've stayed longer if I'd had the time. (You can learn more here.)

But I wanted to make it to the Unsinkable Molly Brown exhibit. The home was owned by Mrs. Brown and her husband J.J. though she wasn't living there full time at the time of her Titanic tragedy and subsequent survival. The tour guide was very informative and knowledgable. The rooms in the house are small, however the home was quite something for its time. It always had electricity and running water, and the Browns purchased it for $30,000 in 1894, a price the tour guide said was equivalent to $800,000 today. Despite the bad rap she has as someone who did not fit in with society, she was a very educated woman who spoke six or eight languages, I can't remember for certain what the guide told us. She was a proponent of women's rights, and raised money to help build the Catholic Cathedral, and she helped transform the juvenile justice system in Colorado, and the rest of the country used it as a model.

I will stop there, because it's a pretty cool place to see.

Here's a link

If you love architecture, and Victorian architecture in the Italian Renaissance Style in particular, then you have to tour The Brown Palace Hotel. This beautiful hotel is so grand, and includes six tiers of balconies with cast iron railings, and a 2,800 square foot sky light of stained glass.

Some things have changed since its 1892 construction, but this hotel is unbelievably ornate and opulent. There's a lot more about this hotel here.

The Oxford Hotel. This hotel has the original 1930s Art Deco design. It is also really beautiful. You can check it out here.

No doubt you'll be needing a little pick-me-up snack, and I recommend a stop at Little Man Ice Cream. This ice cream shop is on 16th Street, in Highland, and you can't miss it. It's the one shaped like a big metal milk can. The ice cream is so good, and you can choose flaxseed, Parmesan Garlic, or Chipotle-Lime cones on their BOBO menu. The BOBO is a scoop of lunch in a cone. So inside one of those tasty cones you can choose a scoop of White Cheddar Mac and Cheese, Southwestern Sweet Potato Hash or California Chicken Club Salad. You can see more about it here.

I'm probably forgetting a few things, but these are some of the fun things we did. Denver is pretty cool, and I can't wait to go back sometime soon.

Oh, OH!! And the people there are amazing. I mean really, really nice. We both agreed the people in Denver are some of the nicest and friendliest we've ever encountered.