For All Women-Especially the 30-somethings

What To Expect When You're Expecting Menopause

You might think this doesn't pertain to you. Stop. Do not click off of this page. This IS FOR YOU if you are a woman of any age, but especially if you are in your mid-to-late 30s, or 40s.

Some women would rather not know, and just want to be surprised when the time comes for menopause to begin. If that describes you, go ahead and click off of this page.

Oh, and before you read any further, there are some bad words in this post. 

If you are still reading, you should know that you can begin to experience pre-menopausal symptoms as early as your 30s.

Anyone can look in a medical manual, or get basic information from a doctor about the changes that will occur during menopause, but how many of them have explained the process to you? A manual isn't another woman who knows, giving you the whatfors. And most women see a doctor who is either a man, who obviously hasn't experienced, nor will he ever understand, the symptoms, or a woman who hasn't reached menopause yet. Although they try to be helpful, they have NO IDEA.

That's right. None!

So, sisters, this is for you. Settle in. Make a cup of tea, iced or hot, it doesn't matter. Curl up with a soft throw, and you might want a box of tissues as you read this post. If you've already reached menopause, you know what to do. Skip the hot tea. Skip the throw, and instead throw open that window.

What To Expect First

You will begin to feel symptoms of menopause long before you reach menopause. There is no way to know exactly when this will happen. Usually between the late 30s and 40s. This is called peri-menopause, but who really cares what it's called. It sucks. You could call it suckopause, or you can name it after your least favorite person, or even use a curse word. I like the word son-of-a-bitch, because I tend to mutter son-of-a-bitch under my breath when I have some of these symptoms. But technically that is more than one word. Feel free to string some bad words together and use them as either adjectives or verbs when saying the word peri-menopause, or menopause.

You will curse. Believe me. You will curse. If you've not been the cursing type, get used to this new part of yourself, but if you can, try to mutter the curse words under your breath. Cursing in public for no apparent reason could make things worse. You'll be suffering. You don't need people staring at you as if you need mental health services, or calling the police, or screaming at you because you just called their toddler a mother*&^%%$$. Which you didn't, you just blurted it out loudly in that general direction. But parents are sensitive.

Maybe you already have mental health services, and if you do, own that shit. Wear it like a badge, because honey, you are better off than the rest of us who are denying that we need it.

But this first phase, Phase One, is manageable. You most likely will feel a bit warm sometimes, especially when you go to bed. You might wake up cold from a bout of the sweats, kind of like a fever. And it can trick you into thinking maybe you had a fever that broke in the middle of the night and you didn't even know you had one.

That is a trick. You didn't have a fever. It's night sweats. But here's the kicker...Waaait for iiit... You skip periods.

I know. Great, huh? Youbetcha. Except for the paranoia of thinking you might be pregnant again. That's not very fun, but boy are those period-free months great.

If you keep a calendar, and have always paid close attention to your menstrual cycle, you might notice that your period shows up late, or early, sometimes not at all. Sometimes you skip a couple of months at a time.

This is the good part, so go ahead and sit in a yoga pose, breathe deeply, and focus on that good part there. "Oooommmm. I won't have to buy pads or tampons this month. Oooooommmmmmm. I don't have PMS this month. Ooooommmm." (What you save in spending on pads and tampons this month might get spent on pregnancy tests. Just sayin'.)

You will want to get used to either cursing, or saying Ooooommmm. Here's why: Your moods will begin to be as unpredictable as your cycle.

That's right. If you've been a cool cucumber all your adult life, that's about to change.

You'll have great days, sure, but you'll have moments on those great days when you feel a bit homicidal. Just for a few minutes. It won't last. You'll be back to your cool self in moments. And then when you aren't expecting it, it will come on again, that homicidal rage feeling. It can be over something as small as misplacing your keys, or someone might say something that you take the wrong way.

Again. Say it with me, Ooooommmm. Or you can choose a curse word from your list of favorites. Either way, it will help. But whatever you do, DON'T kill anyone. Really, if you start to feel serious about the homicide thing, seek immediate mental health services. For real. And don't be ashamed. You're a menopause warrior now.

Get ready for this, because we're still in phase one, here.

You can also experience a period from hell. I mean just as you are in the midst of reveling in the non-periodness of it all, the next one can require those mega pads that I call horse pads, and it could last for two weeks. Not kidding. So even if you skip a month, buy tampons and pads anyway.

Oh, and you'll start to gain weight. It came on slowly for me, kind of sneaky-like. I gained a pound or two, and then another pound. And then a couple more. I gained about five pounds in Phase One.

But Phase One is manageable.

There is no way to predict how long Phase One will last. Maybe that is why doctors don't bother talking about these things in a way that helps us get ready for it. Maybe menopause is just too unpredictable to address.

Phase One lasted about three years for me.

Phase Two:

For some, Phase One is not bad at all, and they skip right on to Phase Three. I haven't heard of it, but I guess there could be some women who don't go through phases at all, and their periods just stop and that is it. I haven't heard of it, but then, how many of us have heard much of anything about menopause?

It is most likely that you will experience something similar to these phases.

So. You've been in Phase One for a while. You've gotten used to missing some periods here and there, and maybe you've had a few times when you felt a bit warm, just needed a little extra breeze, or had to turn the air conditioning down a degree or two.

Now, Phase Two begins.

In Phase Two the periods are all over the place. There is no way to predict when they will start or end. You might skip three or four months. The next one might arrive like it used to, back in the day, before Phase One. Remember back when you had those wonderful, predictable periods? Ah, don't you miss those days now?

You might have a period that plays out just as predicted, and then it ends, right on time. And you might think you're going back to normal again, back to the pre-peri-menopause days. But a week later, that period is back. Like a bitch.

This can go on and on. You need to keep pads and tampons on hand, because you just never know when this will strike, how intense it will be, or how long it will last. Go to Costco, if you have one, and get the largest box of your favorite feminine hygiene products. (Seriously, if you experience a period that lasts for an extended amount of time, you definitely should seek medical attention. It can be dangerous, and most likely you will be iron-depleted.)

Also in Phase Two, what used to be just a warmth that required a little extra breeze has now turned into an internal inferno. It starts somewhere in the gut and radiates out to the edges of the torso, working it's way down the legs and up the chest to the arms and face, all at the same time. Your body will feel like it is on fire. You will sweat in places you might not have sweat before. Like your knees. Yes, ladies, your knees can sweat.

Try to remain calm. Softly mutter your preferred curse word under your breath so as not to disturb anyone, or generate any extra heat. Slowly make your way to an open window, or step outside into cool air, or inside into cool air, depending on the time of year. Whatever you do, do not panic. The more you panic and begin to flail your arms to cool yourself, or find a newspaper or magazine to fan yourself, the longer it will last. These hot flashes usually last for only 30 seconds to a minute at the very most.

I know, it's hard. The moods, the hot flashes, and the moods because of the hot flashes. Mental health services might not be a bad idea at this point.

Those occasional night sweats are now more frequent in Phase Two. They can be so intense that you search for a dry spot on the sheets so you don't freeze to death in the middle of the night. You won't find one. Just get up and go to the bathroom for a towel. Two, actually. One for your body that is literally dripping with sweat, as if you just came out of a sauna, and another for the bed. Actually, you might need more than one for the bed.  Place those over the drenched sheet. Don't change the sheets. It might happen again before morning. (I know, the top cover is also wet and now you're freezing. Don't worry. You'll warm up soon.)

If you're a spooner, or a cuddler, those days are over, honey. You might get a minute or two of spooning in bed with your loved one, but any longer than that and you will be throwing the covers off, opening the window as wide as it will go, or leaping out of the bed, headed for the freezer for that refreshing cold air.

You will gain more weight. I gained another five pounds in Phase Two, bringing me to 10 extra pounds at that point.

Now, at this juncture you might be ready to talk to your doctor about what to do for these awful symptoms. You may have offended someone in your family by now, and your friends?--they might be wondering what is up with all of the cursing and erratic moods.

I did this. I asked, and my doctor gave me birth control pills. I was 41. I don't recommend this route whatsoever. Not at all. But that is my opinion.

I got no clear answer from my doctor about how long I would need to take these to get my hormones back in balance. I think I took them for six months.  I ended up taking myself off of them because I could no longer afford them. I didn't have health insurance at the time. Those pills made my periods stop altogether, made me feel kind of sick, like I was pregnant, and made me bloat, and I had started to gain the extra weight. I had taken birth control pills before, in my 20s, and this time around they were not my friend.

Coming off of the birth control pills was so much worse than the symptoms of peri-menopause. So, so, so, much worse. I couldn't even walk a few feet without breaking out in a total body sweat. I felt like I would throw up each time. To walk from my living room to the kitchen was a huge effort. I was dealing with sweat, hell-fire hot flashes, nausea, fatigue and raging mood swings while trying to work, run a house and be a single mom. I wished that I had never started taking the pills.

Since that time I've had a second opinion, and my current doctor says she would not ever give birth control pills to a woman of that age. She has a variety of options, one of them being hormone replacement.

My Phase Two lasted a couple of years.

And here's what to expect in what I believe is the final phase, Phase Three:

Phase Three includes night sweats, hot flashes, and occasional ickyness kind of like PMS.
The periods stop altogether.

The moods will level out, but you'll gain more weight, which might put you in a bad mood.

If you were always a sex kitten, brace yourself. You're going to look at sex in a whole new way. You might not care much about it sometimes. Or you might not want it at all.

On top of that, your vejayjay might not like sex, either. It might even hate it. It could be painful. Things change down there, and it ain't pretty, sisters. Dryness is just the beginning. The lack of estrogen causes physical changes, and makes our vejayjay less flexible and the tissues are thinner.

Other parts of your body will change, too.

Your hair will change. Most likely it will get thinner and limper, but it could get curlier and thicker.

If you once had beautiful fingernails, that could change. They can get brittle and dry.

Your skin, too. That will be drier than before.

You could see a change in the way your body reacts to, and processes, foods. My body doesn't process foods the same way it used to. I can't drink milk. Bread makes me bloat, leading me to believe I am possibly becoming gluten intolerant. Corn is in almost everything, and I don't process corn well at all.

Here's what I'm doing to try to help with these symptoms.

I'm starting to take daily doses of calcium, Vitamin D, and Vitamin E. I use a daily moisturizer for my face, which I've always done since my 20s, and I use a really good body lotion. I use a moisturizing soap in the shower also.

I'm not super worried about the weight, because I had some room to grow, so to speak, anyway. But I don't really like how my body is right now, so I'm trying to get more exercise, eat more whole foods and drink more water and tea. I buy organic, fresh vegetables and fruits when I can, and stay away from meats and dairy that could have growth hormone or antibiotics. We have chickens, and feed them the best feed available that is non-GMO, organic feed, so we have great eggs.

I notice that when I eat processed foods, or fast foods frequently, I feel worse. And for me, corn is a trigger. I have more hot flashes and night sweats when I eat things that contain corn syrup, so I'm trying to eliminate those altogether.

I'm seeing a chiropractor and a massage therapist due to a car accident a few years ago, but I think they also help with some of the symptoms.

I haven't tried any of the options my current doctor has told me about just yet. I keep thinking I'll be able to handle it. For the most part, I'm doing fine, but I am concerned about bone loss, osteoporosis, and whatever might be happening inside, so I'm beginning to think about the options.

I'm going the natural route as much as possible, but if this doesn't appeal to you, definitely go to your doctor to get whatever you believe will help you.

If you are a 30-something woman, start talking to your doctor now. And don't let them tell you you're too young to worry about it. Definitely don't worry about it, but get informed.

I'm sharing this to help other women. Most of us had a mother, aunt, or older sister to give us the information about our changing bodies as we approached puberty. We need a similar talk about menopause.

Lastly, I'm still in Phase Three, so I don't know what is ahead of me, or for you. I'm hoping this is the final phase, and that the worst is behind me. If something different happens, I'll update with a new post.

I do know that there are some great things about this phase. One is that I don't worry about birth control. Another is that I've discovered a feeling of calm and peace in who I really am. I don't care what others think, never really have, but now I am just ready to be who I am meant to be, with my flaws. I'm no longer striving to become a perfect person. I'm great just the way I am.

And so are you!

I Love "Lars and the Real Girl"

I'm in one of the cycles for watching movies and TV shows. Sometimes I am in the reading cycle, and I devour text, but that time is not now.

Last night we searched Netflix for a comedy. Chuck, my husband, prefers comedies. He deals with enough drama and tragedy, sometimes violence, and often heartache, in his job as a firefighter. So I watch those genres alone when he's at work.

We finally settled on a comedy, "Lars and the Real Girl." It's a 2007 film, and neither of us had seen it. It stars Ryan Gosling, and a life sized doll.

I'm going to keep this short, because there are plenty of reviews and plot explanations for this movie on various websites.

Lars is a different kind of guy, one who sticks to himself at work and in his personal time. He lives in the garage-turned-apartment behind his brother and sister-in-law's home. His sister-in-law is pregnant, and she is worried that Lars doesn't get out enough. Lars turns down her repeated invitations to have dinner with them in their home, just a few yards from his door.

His cubicle mate at work tries to show him a site online that offers customizable sex dolls, and Lars doesn't really want to look at it, or hear about it.

What at first seems like a movie that will be a true comedy turns out to be a funny, but heartwarming film. I really enjoyed it.

I expected one thing, but got a total surprise. I expected Lars to be fed up and get the doll as a way to shut everyone up, as if to say, "Fine, you want me to have a girlfriend, HERE'S the girlfriend, you bunch of meddling jerks."

But that isn't the case, and the movie is a mix of laughter and surprising human kindness all the way through to the final scene.

As the credits rolled, I imagined how it would be to live in a world like the community that rallied around Lars.

If you're a thinker, a person who is interested in human interaction, the perplexing work of the mind, and one who dreams of a world filled with people who support and love one another, this movie is going to deliver.

Of course I'm not getting paid to write this review, by Netflix or anyone else.
This one was a winner in my opinion.

A Trip to the Southland

I don't want to minimize the love I have for Thanksgiving, so I'll begin with that.

We enjoyed great company and good food on Thanksgiving. We were blessed with several of Chuck's family members- Cindy and Dave, Colleen and Steve, and their son Charlie. My brother, Marty was here, and his friend Susie, and her kids Abbi and Calvin. I invited my friend Jennifer, and her kids Aiden and Tala because Jennifer's mom and sister had both moved away and she would have been alone. Sean was here, but Lilly wasn't.

The 7th of December Chuck, Sean and I flew to Tennessee. We celebrated Parsla's birthday, and did an early Christmas celebration with Jewel and Bjorn, and David and Grace.

Parsla loves her Uncle Sean.

We had a great time, as usual. I love going home for a visit.

We visited my dad, and we asked him to ride with us the next day to Roan Mountain. He was born there, and has all sorts of stories to tell about it. We spent the whole day driving around up there, and drove to the top of the Roan, to the state line of North Carolina there. Then we came back down the mountain and drove to some other places, and went another route across the North Carolina line.

On our way to the top of the Roan, the trees were covered in ice.

We had a great time with him, and we hope to go back when it's warmer so he can show us more on foot.

Our second day there, Jewel got the flu and was out of commission for a few days. But she was back on her feet thanks to Tamiflu, and the whole gang had fun at Bass Pro Shop's bowling alley for Parsla's birthday party. Every branch of the family tree was represented. It was so nice to see Myrna and Kyle, Tom and Jean, Brett and Jen, Josh and Megan, and Mike, and it was fun to walk around Bass Pro Shop. I'd never been to one.

I had no idea that Bass Pro Shop had a bowling alley. 

We visited the Gray Fossil Site and museum one day, but Sean wasn't that enthusiastic.

While we are in Tennessee we eat at several restaurants that aren't found in our area. One of them is the Golden Corral. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's OK. Dad wanted to take everyone out to eat while we were there, and although he preferred a nicer restaurant, they were all booked with parties for the holiday season. It worked out for all of us to meet at Golden Corral, or as dad says, "The Hog Trough." I think I get some of my cynicism from him. :-)
We like it because there is something for everyone. Sean is a bit picky about his food, but he can always find something at Golden Corral. And their dessert bar has a chocolate fountain that both Sean and Parsla love to dip marshmallows into.

The whole gang at the Hog Trough. But seriously, we
all enjoy eating there. 

Our final night in Tennessee we took Jewel, Bjorn and Parsla with us to Rocky Mount in Piney Flats for a candlelight tour. It's a living history museum, and we were welcomed to the home of the Cobb family for a 1791 Christmas celebration. They were hosting the Blount family, and Blount was trying to establish statehood.
Though I grew up not very far from Piney Flats, I had never been to Rocky Mount. We all had a good time there. We listened to a Christmas story in the slave quarters, told by an actor playing the part of a slave, about a girl who was the daughter of the inn keeper who let Mary and Joseph stay in the barn. Afterward there was a reception in the basement of the museum.

Jewel recognized the man playing Christmas music on a keyboard as one of her professors. We chatted, and he invited Sean to play some of the Christmas music he knows. He played Carol of the Bells, and Dance of the Sugarplum Fairies.

We toured the museum upstairs, too. I wish I had gotten good pictures there.

A couple of days before we were scheduled to come home, I got sick. I ended up going to Urgent Care to try to get well before getting on the plane. It didn't work. And I'm still not back to normal.
Chuck got it the next day, and we were both dragging ourselves through the airports to get home.
Sean didn't get it until we got home, thank goodness. And he is better now. Chuck and I are both still dealing with some weird thing with our ears.

It Ain't Easy Being Brown

I've had a little more than 12 years to prepare, but uncharacteristically for me, I've been in denial.

You see, I was thinking that if I raised my son to have manners, took him to church, surrounded him with people of good moral character, and made sure that he was learning, he would be just fine.

And maybe he will.

I'm white. I'm raising a brown child. His father and I are divorced, and he sees his father every week. His father believes that people who break the law should be held accountable, and so do I.

But what is happening in our country right now scares me.

I've been paying close attention lately.

I've been raising my brown son to make his own decisions, to think for himself, to question authority, and speak up for himself. I believe those are traits that will carry a person into adulthood, and make for a well-rounded individual. One who doesn't just believe everything he hears, or follows along just because someone says it's the thing to do.

This week I stopped in my tracks. I realized that I might have been doing this all wrong. What I thought would give him a great foundation for his future might be something that could get him killed.

My son is a typical pre-teen boy. He has a love of guns that I believe runs through his veins. My father loves guns, my oldest son loves guns, and my step-son also has a love of guns.

I thought my youngest son could be free to pursue his boyhood interests, to run amok like the boys in my neighborhood did when I was growing up, to get into some innocent mischief, because that's what builds great memories and it's how we learn. But it is also the thing that has me concerned.

I am still encouraging him to analyze, and think for himself, but I've begun serious conversations with him about how to behave. These conversations are different from the ones we've had in the past. Of course I've talked to him about manners, and his education has had grace and courtesy built into it, with handshakes and personal introductions the norm.

The instructions I'm giving him now are different. I knew his life would be different from my oldest kids who are white, but I didn't realize how different. I thought I could insulate him from bigotry and racism. I didn't want him to grow up thinking of himself as a victim, and I didn't want him to have a chip on his shoulder. I still don't. But, honestly, I didn't understand. I'm white.

While I still believe that if we all just obey the law, stay out of trouble, and stay away from people who want trouble, we will be fine, that isn't all there is to it for black and brown people.

Since the Michael Brown case in Ferguson I've been reading posts from a variety of people who tell the story of what it's like to be brown or black. Although I've noticed some of it myself as my son and I have been out in the world together, I haven't experienced it enough to understand. I'm still white.

I think back on some of the crazy things I did in my early 20s as a college student, and young adult with friends who were looking for fun, and it's a miracle that I came out of all of that unscathed. We never did anything intentionally bad, but we did some stuff.

Even if we had been caught, I don't think we would have gotten into a load of trouble. We were white. And it seems that in this country, if you're white, you are presumed innocent. A young white person out doing some things they aren't supposed to do can be seen as kids doing what kids do. A black or brown person in the same situation would be presumed guilty, and there isn't anything about a black kid doing something wrong that is fun and games. In this country, that is a life and death situation.

So I've begun a new education program with my son. New rules.

If you see a police officer: Do not run. Ever. Keep your hands where they can see them at all times. Do not make any sudden movements. Ask before reaching into a pocket, or otherwise moving your hands. Only speak when you are spoken to. Do not ask questions, other than "am I free to go," or "can I make a phone call."

You might be thinking ( if you are white), "Well, that's just common sense."

Yes. It is.

I've already talked to my son about making good decisions, and staying away from people who make bad ones. I didn't know how else to say it except to just say it, so I told him that if he is with a group of white friends who decide to do something he knows is wrong, but they all think it will be fun, or funny, and they get caught, he is the one who will be in trouble.

I explained that the white kids might get in trouble, but it is almost a certainty that he will. And it sucks, but it's just the way it is, so the best thing to do is leave that group as soon as he knows what is happening. I told him to use me as an excuse.

Now, maybe you're thinking that is also just common sense. But think back on your youth and the things you've done. Kids do stupid stuff.

And maybe you can't imagine it, but try. Imagine you are a white kid, and you are innocently hanging out with your friends playing Airsoft war in your yard. You have your headphones in, listening to your favorite song, really loud, and you have your Airsoft gun in your hands. A police car pulls up because a neighbor complained that you were shooting guns.
What do you imagine the police officer will do when you don't respond to him or her trying to talk to you?

Now try to imagine you are a black kid in that scenario. What do you think the officer's response will be?

Recently there were a lot of gun enthusiasts carrying their guns into stores to push the open carry issue. And though there were some people on social media pushing back on that, and threatening to boycott those stores that allowed people to come in carrying guns, that's about as bad as it got.

I kept wondering what would happen if the gun enthusiasts were black guys.

Imagine that for a moment. You're in a store, maybe even working there as a cashier, or a manager, and a large group of black guys in camo, with guns strapped to their backs walk into Target, or Home Depot.

Think on that for a moment.

Hmm.

I know this is just one more thing out there in the cyberworld about race, and today I saw a comment to a post that said, "Please. Not another story whining about racism. We're all equal!" And all I could think was, "Of course. Because you're white."

I'm only beginning to understand what black and brown people deal with every day, but I know that I will never fully understand either.

I'm white, and that will never change. I just hope that within my brown child's lifetime this country will.

But What About Socialization??

I spend my days homeschooling.

I really love to teach my child. He enjoys learning at home, and he is thriving.

But there are so many myths and misunderstandings about homeschooling, so I thought I would put this out there in the blogosphere to clear up some of the biggest myths and assumptions I've heard.

These range from "those kids just sit at home and watch TV all day," to "the poor things are stuck in the house without any opportunity to socialize."

I am certain that there are some parents who homeschool because they think it's going to be easy. And I am certain that there are a very few, and I mean very few, because honestly, I don't know any, who allow their children to just sit in front of the TV all day.

I'm also certain that there are some who don't want their kids around other kids, and therefore their children really are stuck in the house without any opportunity to socialize. Well, sort of. I think even those families have an occasional opportunity to socialize. Church, family events, grocery store, library, something. And though I know one such family, it is only ONE of a whole lot of homeschooling families.

We can debate what is and isn't enough socialization, but I'd like to put forth the idea that socialization means different things to different people.

It's definitely the hot button topic for both those who have an opinion, but aren't homeschooling, and those who are homeschooling.

First, I don't think sitting in a classroom of 25+ kids who are your same age is true socialization. I don't think the Middle School experience that my older kids endured, nor the experience I've heard through friends and groups is true socialization, nor is it, in my opinion, healthy socialization. And as far as I'm concerned, I'm not so sure about high school, either. My own experience, and that of my older children, and adults I've spoken with, was not what I would call a real social experience. And from what I hear, it's not gotten any better with time. I've heard the debates about what those experiences can teach us.

My definition of true and healthy socialization includes opportunities to converse, spend time, and collaborate with people of all backgrounds, ethnicities, faiths, ages and socio-economic status. It includes disagreements, and opportunities to negotiate, compromise, and find ways to work out problems. That is my definition of true socialization. And that is what I strive for in our homeschool experience.

Sometimes we fall short. The age ranges aren't always as diverse as I would like. Ultimately I'd like my child to spend time with some kids of all ages, some adults, and some teenagers and older adults as well. We have a pretty diverse group of friends. We, ourselves would fit the "diverse" label. We have friends of various ethnicity and background. We seem to be missing out on the teen group, but Sean gets that in other places, like church and when he spends time at his dad's house.

But here's the crux of what I want to get out there to dispel these myths and assumptions and misunderstandings.

Homeschoolers do socialize. We, as in Sean and I, have so many social opportunities that I have to sometimes turn some of them down or we would never get a day of school. I've heard from others who say the same thing. This is especially true when our regular schooled friends are on holiday breaks.

There are also a lot of collaborative opportunities, and I have to constantly decide if they are going to enhance or detract from our lesson plan.

Our lesson plan might not look like a traditional lesson plan, but it is ours. Not everyone does use one, and that is OK.  Homeschoolers use all kinds of curriculum. We happen to use a Montessori curriculum, but no one else in our social circle does. We know some people who use the public homeschool curriculum, others use a religious one, still others unschool, and some have cobbled together a variety of curricula to have what works for their children.

The other myth about TV all day, well that has been a topic of discussion in some online groups lately. You might be surprised to hear that some homeschooling families allow their children a couple of hours a day of TV, others allow 30 minutes, some use a bit of educational programming, and some don't even have a television. Hmm. Sounds pretty much like the general population, huh?

The beauty of homeschooling is that no homeschool looks like another. We homeschoolers do what works for us, and share ideas and tips, but we all follow our own way.

Fortunately, we live in an area where there is a large community of homeschoolers, and for that reason, our community at large is supportive. We take advantage of a lot of the classes and group activities for homeschoolers here. There are outdoor science classes, art, and local history classes. We've even hosted one ourselves that teaches outdoor skills and conservation. We've met new friends by hosting that class on our property.

But I also have the benefit of online groups. I am in several Facebook groups for Montessori homeschooling, and some for homeschooling in general. As a homeschooling mom it can be overwhelming, and lonely. I've found the online community to be such a blessing for me. When I first embarked on this journey, Sean was a first grader, and I was able to connect with a Montessori homeschool group on yahoo that saved me. Really. I was clueless, but that year I learned so much about the philosophy and curriculum.

This week Sean will be socializing during the class we host here, and after that class we both will socialize with the families. We will probably collaborate on some science with one friend.

And he will also have some screen time, though he doesn't watch TV by choice. He prefers Netflix, and video games. I limit both, and neither are allowed until school work is finished.

So that's a little glimpse into how we socialize, and how we deal with TV. And now I will get back to my research on the politics and government of Ancient Greece, gather more Greek root words and definitions, and study the Pythagoran Theorum for tomorrow's presentations. See how that all flows together? Ancient Greece (History), Greek root words (language),  Pythagoran Theorum (Pythagorus was Greek) and a math lesson.

This really is fun.

Epic Field Trip

Wow, I went MIA there for a while.

We've been super busy, and we were out of town for a while in September. Here's why:

Grand Geyser at Yellowstone National Park.

We stayed at River Rock Lodge, in Big Sky, Montana. It was about an hour from the West Entrance of Yellowstone. We spent three days there, and Yellowstone was as beautiful as I remembered.

From Wyoming we were headed to Idaho for a stop at Craters of the Moon.

Volcanic rock.

Indian Tunnel, one of the lava tubes.

Two happy kids hiking back from a great adventure.

Back to the van, and onward. Next stop: A ghost town called Silver City.

15 miles of dirt, rutted, rocky road back to the main highway, and we were off to Oregon to see the John Day Fossil Beds.

Sean loved the microscope at the Thomas Condon Paleontology Center.

A leaf fossil we saw in a boulder on a trail.

Might as well round out this trip about volcanoes and stop off at Mt. St. Helens on the way home, huh?

Sean and Lilly were interested in the seismograph. Any movement on the floor caused the needle to move.

By the time we arrived at Mt. St. Helens the kids were really ready to be home. We didn't stay very long, just long enough to look around the visitor's center. Informative, by the way. And I heard there has been increased activity there. Yikes.

Winding Down

It's been a great ride, but summer is coming to an end for us. We just attended an end-of-summer barbecue bash last night at our friends Nikki and Andrew's house.

We've enjoyed some great company, like when we hosted about 35 people for our Anniversary Party in June. I met a cousin of my mom's that was visiting from Montana, and we were so pleased to celebrate with our family and friends.

I've basked in the warmth of the sun as much as possible, and I've walked around the property and the yard taking in all of the sights and sounds. Birds, the horses next door, woodland critters that I hear rustling in the bushes but I can't see, squirrels chattering in the trees, and just today Sean and I watched a humming bird flit from one bloom to another on one of the flower bushes. We were so close, and it seemed to not notice us. But the birds here are kind of like that. They ignore us most of the time.

Sean has had a busy summer!-he's been playing hours upon hours of video games, lol.  But really, he's participated in some day camps, and he's been doing chores around here. We've hung out with some friends. We took a trip to the Pacific Science Center with Sean's friend Paul and his mom, Nikki, and he did a chemistry and lego camp in July and August respectively. He went on a vacation to California last month and did some camping with his dad.

One thing we haven't done yet, that I plan to do in the coming week, is go to the beach! We used to go all the time.

Chuck has been super busy with the business, and that's a blessing and a curse. It's great that we can keep our crew working, but it sure is tough to find time to get away from it all.

As I write this post, I'm sitting on the couch with the windows cracked open, and it's almost 10:30 p.m. The night air is filled with fall.

I'm researching and gathering materials for the coming school year. We are homeschooling for 6th grade, and I'm excited to begin soon.