This was us at Easter

I think Chuck had to work, or maybe I just snapped this one quickly while Sean was still wearing his tie, crooked as it was.

He doesn't like church, and he was still not thrilled about having his picture taken, either.

But here we are

An old friend came to town

Life takes so many different turns, at least mine does.

I lived and worked in Asheville, N.C. for a while, and when I was there I met Lydia. She worked at a medical lab where I temped for a year. We kept in touch over the years, and then lost touch, and then I found her on Facebook, or maybe she found me. I can't remember.

We somehow both ended up out here in the Pacific Northwest. I was in California for a while, and she was in Oregon for a while. I moved to Washington, and now she's living in Alaska.

Anyway, after all this time, about 15 years, she was coming to my area for a family wedding in September. Our kids range in age from 3-13, so we decided to meet up at the zoo in Tacoma one afternoon. She and her husband Phil brought fresh, delicious, smoked salmon, which we all enjoyed during a short break before we walked through the zoo.

It was so great to see her again, and meet her husband and children.

Sean performed in a recital

We hadn't been back from our Southwest trip very long, so he had missed several lessons, and we quickly tried to get some extra lessons in before hand.

The recital was in a public park in Gig Harbor in July, and it was so very hot that day with temps in the 90s. Unusual for us.

He hated it. At first he seemed OK, but he arrived without having eaten much of anything after being at his dad's.

He performed a piano piece from a video game.
He did pretty well, considering there was a huge crowd, he was one of the first to go on, and he was using an instrument he wasn't used to.

But he didn't feel that he did well at all, and he didn't like the experience. Swears he will never do it again.

Chuck was great, and as soon as Sean arrived, Chuck stayed with him until he was ready to perform. After he was finished, he came over to the blanket we were sitting on and collapsed. He was starving, and emotional. Chuck ran up to the restaurant to find something Sean could eat while we watched the rest of the kids perform.

I regret that it was such a negative experience. I know what I should have done to ensure that he was prepared, but we live and learn.

Adventures in the Southwest

I'm trying to catch up on some of the things we did this year. I'm a little bit behind on these posts.
Sean and I took a long, 21 day trip through the Southwest in June. We arrived home on July 6. 

When David decided to join the US Air Force I knew I wanted to be there for his graduation. I spent a few months thinking on it, trying to decide if we should fly or drive, and finally decided that the trip to San Antonio needed to be a road trip.

Chuck couldn't get time off from the fire department, but I wanted to be sure that Sean and I were there. Road trips are the best way to learn about our country, and I had never been to the Southwest.

I've driven long distances, criss-crossed the country from Washington to North Carolina, and back, but I'd never driven as the only licensed driver in the car.

A New Mexico road sign.

This trip was different in many ways.  I used my phone to navigate. In the past I have always used an Atlas. To get a general idea of how long it would take us to arrive in Lackland, I looked at the map on my laptop and searched each destination for driving hours. I mapped the general route online first, then just used my phone.

On our way to San Antonio I was booking hotels the night prior. The first stop was Pendleton. I booked that hotel the night before we left. We got settled into the room there, and I booked the next one by gauging how long I could drive vs. the closest city within that amount of time driving.

I stopped pre-booking hotels after a very bad experience in Colorado Springs, Co. We checked into the Howard Johnson there, and it was filthy. Not just dirty, but disgusting. There were sketchy people hanging around outside of our room, too.
We weighed out the worst case scenario--stay in a dirty room with dirty bed covers, or sleep in the car. I was hoping we could get our money back and find a different hotel. They wouldn't give us a refund, and we drove until I couldn't drive any more trying to find a vacancy. We actually slept in the car, but it was better than staying in that room.

There are only a few pictures, because I had a technical difficulty when I downloaded the pictures from my good camera to a thumb drive. They didn't download, and I didn't realize that and erased the originals. Ugh. So many beautiful shots just gone.
I think that means we will have to go again.

We had so much fun exploring Roswell, NM, and the UFO Museum was one of our favorite stops.

When we arrived in San Antonio we had a few days to settle in. The Alamo was one of our first visits.

Grace was overwhelmed with emotion at finally being able to see David again. We were all emotional and so proud of him.

We shopped at the BX, and I had to have this shirt. 

Best place to eat in Carlsbad, NM. It's called Restaurant, haha.

White Sands, NM was suggested by my son-in-law, Bjorn. It was so hot, and so white, and blinding, and awesome and  beautiful, and strange. Go if you can.

This was one of those weird sightings that make road trips so much fun. I saw all of these hands at a nail salon inside a Walmart somewhere in Texas as we were making our way out of that state. 

We drove part of Route 66, something I've always wanted to do.

We had so many of these landscape shots that were stunningly beautiful, and they all got erased. This is the only one, taken with a cell phone. 

Four Corners!

We stopped here to get gas. It was fine, but Sean and I both agreed that with the lighting, it looked like a scene from a movie where the main characters get murdered. That would be us. We were careful, but the people there were friendly. 

I hope to go back to this with Chuck. Sean and I stopped here, but didn't tour the home. 

Here's a quick list of the amazing things we experienced:
I stopped at the Pendleton store in Pendleton, Oregon to look around. It was something I had done with my mom way back in 2004.
We stayed at Little America Hotel in Little America, Wyoming.
We spent an afternoon in Roswell, NM and visited the International UFO Museum. We bought quite a few things there, and had our picture taken in the photo booth while wearing our Alien Eyes glasses.
Our eight days in San Antonio were great. It was really hot, and very humid, but we had fun. Our hotel had a nice pool, and Sean was able to play with a lot of kids there. He has even had contact with one of them, whose brother was also graduating when Dave was.
Sean and I toured the Alamo and walked around the city. We were there a few days before everyone else arrived.
David's graduation was very nice, and it was emotional for me. I am so proud of him. It is a big accomplishment. We enjoyed our time with him, and my ex and his wife and parents. David and Sean, some of David's buddies from Basic, and his dad, all raced at a K1 track. We all went on a tour at the River Walk, and had dinner at one of the restaurants. Sean and I walked forever back to our car, and it was so very hot. But San Antonio is a beautiful city.

On our way home, we took our time. We stopped in Carlsbad, NM, the Living Desert Museum and Gardens, the Continental Divide, and Four Corners. I saw a sign for a museum that looked interesting in Bluff, Utah. There were 12 or 13 little original cabins of the Mormon pioneers who came to Utah. I don't remember the whole story. There was a gift shop, and it had some handmade items. I bought an apron that was made by Mormon ladies there, and Sean got a sling shot, which turned out to be made in China, we think. But it was still interesting. The people were nice, and I bought some things to send to a friend in Australia.

We hiked to Wilson's Arch near Moab, Utah, and we stopped at the Hole in the Rock, but didn't tour the home. It's carved out of a huge boulder, but by then we were both tired and Sean didn't even get out of the car.

Some of the foods we enjoyed were Schlotsky's Deli, and Cracker Barrel, which we don't have here. But my very favorite meal was in Carlsbad, NM at the base of the mountain going to Carlsbad Caverns. It's a mom and pop type restaurant, with an indoor miniature golf course on one side of the entrance, and strange bar stools at the cash register bar that are painted to look like the legs and butt of women. The restaurant is nothing fancy, but the food was so very good. And reasonable. I had three tacos, refried beans and rice for $7. Sean had the country fried steak, and he loved it. I don't remember the total bill, but it was one of the most reasonably priced meals we had. Some of the most expensive were at the two awful Dairy Queen fast food restaurants we had to stop at because they were the only options. Awful. Both of them.

Using the phone to navigate worked out great. Sean navigated while I drove, and he learned a lot about the geography of the Southwest. Hands-on learning is the best! We had so much fun on this trip, and I can't wait to do it again, with Chuck next time.

Holidays keep me sane

When life gets too heavy, when the news of violence, intolerance and hatred seem to come at me from every channel and station, I find peace in preparing for the holidays. I spend a lot of time ruminating on these issues, because that journalism blood courses through my veins, and I need to know, most of the time.  But it's nice to focus on something as trivial as dishes and cloth napkins once in a while.

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Each Thanksgiving I try to set a nice table. Table linens, flatware, centerpieces and china make my heart happy. I don't have a lot of any of it, but I try to use what I have and change it up each year to make it new to me. I like using what I have whenever possible, and I'm not a person who buys new stuff every year. I get a lot of pleasure from traditions and using the same items every year. For me, these things conjure up wonderful memories that I get to relive every time I use them.

The table we use for Thanksgiving was given to us. We keep it stored all year, and bring it inside only for that holiday. It's pretty ugly, because it isn't in very good shape. The veneer on top and on the sides is starting to curl, and the leaf for the table is missing, so we use a large piece of plywood in its place. It expands to seat 10 comfortably, and once I get the linens in place, you don't even notice how bad it is. While this table is taking up a lot of space, and it's in bad shape, I can't part with it yet. We've had some good times around that table.

Because we were serving 12, I added our regular round dining table at the end of the big table, so we could all technically still be sitting at the same table.

This year, I started with an ivory tablecloth for each table. We have a lot of these left over from our wedding reception. Buying them was the best idea. These have paid for themselves many times over.

Next, I folded a gold lame cloth into a runner for the round table.

Small table.

View of both tables.

For the large, rectangular table, I placed a rust-colored, thin, wool shawl on top of the ivory table cloth. It has gold and brown embroidered ginkgo leaves along each edge. It covered the top of the table, and on top of the shawl I placed a gold, jute runner.

Unfortunately our candle holders are packed in a box. We thinned out everything this summer to get ready to list the house for sale. I knew it would take way too much time and effort to find them, so I bought new ones. These cost more than I would normally spend for such things, and I bought them at Pier 1, which in my opinion is overpriced, but I didn't find any in the first few stores I searched, and I needed to just get it done.

I mixed silver metal and glass, and whitewashed wood candle sticks, and I used cream-colored tapers. Normally I run out into the back yard the morning of Thanksgiving to get a few fall leaves and place them along the center of the table, but this year I remembered that my hydrangeas were still on the stems, dried, so to speak. I clipped some of them and mixed in some acorns and placed these around the base of the candle sticks.

For the small, round table I used a whitewashed wood pedestal candle holder that matched the candle stick on the larger table, which also had the sliver glass, and silver metal candle sticks.

I don't have more than eight napkins that are the same pattern, so I mix and match those.

We have a set of china from the 1930s, and we use it every year. It is a fairly complete set, and it works well for Thanksgiving. It even has a couple of bowls, a gravy boat, soup bowls and dessert dishes.

Arts and Crafts-era dish holder.

And speaking of serving dishes, I have a silver dish holder that brings me so much joy I just can't even. It's from the Arts and Crafts era, and although I don't have the original dish that sits inside of it, I make do with a shallow, clear glass dish with handles. I found this beautiful girl at a thrift store, and I was so excited to pay the $1 for it.

Turkey, stuffing, yams, a couple of new recipes that I found and tried, and everyone liked, including a recipe for Parker House Rolls, and a mushroom yogurt pie with spinach crust, and pies, of course. Our home was filled with people, and everything that I love about Thanksgiving.

A Theory for Preventing Violence

Our television broke about a month ago.

We ordered a part to try to fix it, but that didn't work, so we waited until we had some extra money to get a new one. That was yesterday.

As anyone who lives in the U.S. knows, and probably beyond the U.S., we had another mass shooting this week. I was glad to not have a television that day. In the past I've chosen not to turn on the TV when there has been such a tragedy. I find I can do much better with the information if I'm reading it, and I choose to retell it to my child with age appropriate information, instead of having him experience the trauma of a TV report that I can't filter.

I have a Bachelor's Degree in psychology, which really just gives you the opportunity to study a few things and then apply for graduate school. I didn't. I moved on to a different career, but I've always been interested in human behavior, and I'm a natural observer. I also always want information, and want to know why, and how to fix things.

I have my own theories on why these shootings are happening. I don't know if they align with anyone else's theories, because the only ones I see are those of people fighting over gun rights and gun laws.

I can say that I didn't want to hear the guy's name, and I knew that I could probably write my own report without even doing research or talking to any witnesses. (I've been a newspaper reporter.) It was going to be the same story I had heard before, same type of person, a loner, an extremist of some kind. It wasn't going to actually make sense, even if we found out the motivation for it.

Here's what I think:

The people who want to kill others were children not that long ago. Somewhere along the way, something went wrong. They were either always marginalized, seen as odd, treated as odd, pushed to the outside of the group, not accepted at school, made fun of, bullied, or something similar-OR

There could also have been a trauma that left them feeling empty inside, and their way of thinking became illogical. Their reasoning became flawed.
It's not an excuse, but let's get real. We all want to know that we aren't alone. We want to be part of something, part of a family at the very least, a community, to be validated, seen as a valuable contributor.

I do believe we need more access to mental health, and we need to stop making people feel badly about needing counseling or psychiatric help.

But what I believe is the root of the problem is our society. It's the way our culture has evolved.
In short, we focus on things that don't really matter. We work harder for stuff. Some of us don't even make enough money to have stuff, but are so consumed with the idea that if we have stuff we somehow are better or more important, that we forget that there are real life people all around us.

We have stopped having real relationships. Our kids are raising themselves. We don't have enough conversations. We don't spend enough time together, just being together.

When we spend time together, and really listen to each other, we are better equipped to recognize when someone needs help. We can see the moment something starts to change in them.

I don't know if this would work. I, luckily, have never had to test it out. But what if we intervened. What if we recognized that someone was thinking illogically? What if instead of judgment, we offered them a chance to get help with that? What if we could see that their way of looking at the world was skewed in a dangerous way, and getting them to a psychiatrist could be as easy as going to the Urgent Care?

I recently read an article, the first I've read about the shooting that happened three days ago, that gave information about the sheriff who declined to name the shooter, and then the reasons why criminologists and ethicists need information about the shooters to help prevent future acts of violence.

I guess we only hear about the ones that aren't prevented, but I'd really like to see a story about what they ARE doing to prevent these horrific tragedies. I've been waiting since 1999.

House with acreage for sale

It's been a topic for four years, but we finally listed our house for sale on Aug. 1.

It was a lot of work just getting things organized and cleared out. Sean and I worked hard on all of our stuff before we took off on a trip to Texas in June. (More on that next time.) I packed up all of the homeschool shelves, and most of the materials. I kept out only a few things that could be stored in our ottoman. We got back in July and then Chuck and I hit the ground running to try to get everything cleaned and ready for showings.

We've made a lot of changes to it in the four years we've talked about it. We turned the shed into an actual room, with tile floor and made it into a room to hang out. Chuck enclosed the storage area above the shed and added more shelving to make a great storage space. He also installed a countertop and sink in the garden area for a potting table. He added a concrete floor to the shop area, and added more roofing there for extra covered space. He put in water and electric toward the front of the property to help with irrigation.

I've done a little bit of work on the flower gardens. I dug up some things and transplanted them, and I planted some new bulbs a couple of years ago. I also added several potted hydrangeas, which I plan to take when we move, and some annuals this summer, including hanging pots for the front and back porches, and the gazebo.

We've made some changes in the house. We replaced the carpet in the living room and hallway with a beautiful hard wood floor a couple of years ago.

The rest of the changes have been cosmetic with decor and furniture. Those things won't go with the sale, but they enhance the overall look of the place. We added a large tapestry above the fireplace, which I believe showcases the vaulted ceiling and fills the space nicely. We've got a new couch and curtains in the living room, a dining set, some extra touches in the master bath, the bed linens, and some art work here and there that make the house look nice.

We can't make any real plans about what is next for us until this home sells, but the market is great right now.  We've had half a dozen showings and feel confident that the house will sell. I'm not sure if we will rent while we look for another place, or if we will buy right away.

Our hope is to find a piece of land and build a new home. Whatever happens, I'm certain that we will end up where we belong.

In case you are looking for a new home, here's the link to the listing:
http://www.matrix.nwmls.com/Matrix/Public/Portal.aspx?k=2447435XQX4N&p=DE-50776616-98#1