We have a definite number of days here in this life. We don't know the number. For me, each day has to be the best day I can make it, and that means loving every moment.
Of course there are bad days. I've had some pretty bad years. Not every day of those years was awful, but overall, they were bad. They were bad when I was living them, and when I look back on them, there really were some awful things happening. Life can deal horrible blows. I've been dealt more than I believe is my share, honestly. Divorces, death, illnesses, losses. They all happen, and it takes a long time to heal.
But we must strive to heal. And even in the midst of healing, I believe we have to take pleasure in as many things as we can.
I went through a tough time, and I was having trouble enjoying anything at all. I was existing. I was plodding through each day, just doing what had to be done. It occurred to me that I should find just one thing that brought me joy. The only thing I could think of was flowers. So, I went to the closest store and bought a bag of dirt, a pretty pot, and one flower. I believe I started out with a red cyclamen. It made me so happy to see it potted, and on my porch, that I went back the next week and bought another flower and a pot. Eventually, I was going to that store almost every day to buy another flower. I didn't have much money, so I had to buy one at a time, and only what I could afford. That summer my porch was the envy of the neighborhood. I had hanging fuschias, and geraniums, and I planted a purple cala lily in a little garden bed. I spent a lot of time with those flowers, and they thrived.
My point with that is not to encourage everyone to plant flowers, but just to find something that will pull you through those bad days. With each flower planted, I pulled myself through a difficult time. Every day as I parked in the driveway and saw the flowers on the porch, I felt joy. When I went out in the evening to water them, my spirits were lifted.
In between that time and now, I've had bad years, and good ones. Sometimes life can put us into autopilot. Recently I recognized that I was in autopilot. It's winter, and I can't plant flowers. And besides, I have so many now in all of the gardens that I don't have anywhere to plant new ones.
Those flowers will bring me joy in the spring and summer, so for now I'm watching the sun glint on the water, listening to the roosters crow in the morning, reveling in conversations with the people I love, going on road trips, spending time outside, keeping in touch with friends, eliminating foods that don't agree with me, sacrificing house work for opportunities to have fun.
Kids, work, bills, errands, appointments, all of that can put us on autopilot. It's life, but not really living.
Live a life so full that when you get to the end, or you get to a point that you can no longer hear, or walk, or breathe, or see, you can say to yourself, "But I sure did live, and I made every day count. I lived every day doing the things that I loved. I spent time with amazing people, saw God's wonders, listened to the music of nature, and of talented musicians, and engaged in wonderful conversations with family and friends. I watched beautiful films, and stunning sunsets. I traveled as far and as often as possible. I tasted delicious food and drink created by epicureans. I made each day count, and it was amazing!"
That's what I'm going to do.
And I'll share it here when I can.
