It's a style thing

Something has been bothering me for a while now, and I need to get it out. I am a lover of words, and I tend to really like all of them. No matter how large or small, I love them.

On more than a few occasions, I have read magazines and newspapers, and I have seen a misused. I don't understand how this can happen in national, and reputable publications. I realize we are all human beings, even the editors, and we all make mistakes, but this recent observation of mine has me troubled.

It seems that we have thrown the rules out the window, and let's face it, we need rules. No matter what your line of work, you need at least a few rules.

In the world of print journalism, we use a book filled with rules on how to use and spell certain words. This book is always by our side. Sometimes it is under a stack of press releases, or other reporter clutter, but we cannot function without this book. (I think in most newsrooms it is now on the computer, but still, we use it.)

This book I refer to is one thing that keeps us all sane in this crazy business - The Associated Press STYLEBOOK and Libel Manual.

Now, unless the AP STYLEBOOK has been revised and I'm just not aware of it, here are the rules stated for a, and an. (It's the very first thing under A, so you can't miss it.)

Use the article a before consonant sounds: a historic event, a one-year term. See, even though the word "one" begins with a vowel, it sounds like a "w" which is a consonant.

Moving on to an: Use the article an before vowel sounds: an energy crisis, an honorable man. That word honorable begins with a consonant, but the h is silent, therefore it sounds like it begins with a vowel- o.

We will continue with an because it seems some writers are ignoring this wonderful little article: an NBA record. That sounds like it begins with the letter e. an 1890s celebration.

I like an. A has it's place, but I like to use an before a word that begins with a vowel. I don't like it when I am reading something enjoyable, and then I come upon the a before a word like outing.
"We are going on a outing." Ugh. I don't like that. Doesn't that sound so blunt and harsh to say a, when it clearly should be an?

Maybe it's just me.

Happy First Day of Fall

Tomorrow is the first day of fall, and I've decided to celebrate by decorating my blog page.

Autumn is my favorite time of year.
I'm one of those people who decorates for every season and holiday. Right now I don't have time to focus on doing that in my home, as I've taken a new job and it is consuming me. I was at my desk by 8:30 a.m. yesterday, and sent my last email at around midnight.

I will miss the trips to the beach, the warm sun and the lift of spirit it has provided this month. (You may not understand, but we live in a fog bank for 8 to 9 months out of the year. I had the furnace on in July. I'm not kidding.)
So here's to crisp evenings, apple cider, pumpkin patches and football! And that mist I refer to in my blog title. :~(

Forks and Other Things With Feelings

I had a Yoga and meditation class a long time ago. It feels like a lifetime ago, but there are a lot of things that stuck with me.

Being mindful of everything you do can change your life. The teacher, or leader, gave examples of this. Things like the way you set your fork down beside your plate. If you are fully aware of the fork, and the table, and where you want the fork to be, you will place it gently, and purposefully.

I've tossed things over the years, and afterward felt like I should have been more aware. Maybe this sounds silly, but it can be a good exercise to train you to be fully in the moment.

I wonder, are we tossing the people in our lives? Do you spend real time with your family and friends? I see so many people out to lunch, and everyone is on a cell phone. It makes me wonder why they 1. didn't invite the people on the phones, or 2. even wanted to have lunch together.

When you have a conversation with someone in your family, or someone you live with, do you make eye contact? Do you really listen to them? I can't remember the title, but I saw a play about an entire family who never looked at each other. Throughout the play, they had conversations, and people came and went from the home, and none of them ever made eye contact.

How do we treat the people we see each day? Do we smile? Do we even notice some of them?

Ever had a complete stranger smile at you? Not a creepy smile, but a genuine smile. It can give you a lift. Try it out on someone. Now, imagine getting that from a loved one or friend. A genuine, in the moment, fully-aware-of-you smile, or maybe even a hug.

Tomorrow is a busy day for me, but I am going to call at least one family member just to say hello. I'm going to smile at a stranger, and try to be present and aware of everything I am doing.
And when I set the table, I'm going to be fully aware of the fork in my hand, the table, and where I want the fork to be. We're going to sit down to eat, and I'm going to look my little boy in the eyes and ask him to tell me about his day and savor every word.

Powerful Prayer

I have always been full of questions. Even as a little kid, I wondered where God came from. I remember my Mom was so concerned about getting this question answered that she had some lady come to our house and try to explain it to me. I must have been about 5 years old. She talked about a big circle, and it didn't make any sense to me. I came out of that with more questions. Hmm. I guess it makes sense that I'm a Journalist.

I believe in God, and I believe in prayer. I have always felt that prayer was a way of keeping the relationship going with God, not necessarily a way to get what I wanted. In fact, I've never asked for anything I felt would be trivial, such as a car, or some other material thing.

I know these days that stuff about "intention," and being able to get what you want in your life by thinking it, is all very big and popular. Generally, I believe that having a positive attitude, and goals is the way to attain a good life. But I'm skeptical, because that is just how I am. Plus, I don't think God intends for everyone to be able to do this.

I mean really, can you imagine some bushman in Africa thinking, "Oh, if I can just visualize that life with a nice house, a picket fence, a big SUV in the driveway, and private school for my kids, I can have it."
Get real.

Now I'm reading this book called "Meditation as Medicine," and it has me thinking on such a different level that I can't even put into words exactly what I'm thinking about prayer.
I'm not what I would call stupid, but I'm not really on the genius level either. I'm somewhere in the middle. From this book, and another one I've read "The Heart's Code," (both written by doctors) I am starting to see that we really are all connected to everything. I mean everything.

We respond to vibrations, and our bodies can actually benefit from certain sounds and vibrations. And I think we communicate this way, on a primal level, without even knowing it sometimes. Think of how we say things like, "You could cut the tension in that room with a knife." Granted, some are better at picking up on the vibrations than others.

There have been experiments done on this. Our cells, our tiny cells in our bodies, have memories. I'm getting too deep for my own good here. I'll move on.

At one point, a very low point, I was praying all day and into the night. No kidding. I prayed while I took a shower, cooked a meal, did the laundry. Basically, unless I was in conversation with someone, or playing with my little boy, or sleeping, I was praying.

I prayed that God would lead me to the right people to help me with a legal situation. I prayed for strength, patience, understanding, and wisdom. I prayed that if something needed to be said, that God would give me the words to say it. And if nothing needed to be said, that God would help me to be silent.

This worked.

Recently I said a prayer; a heartfelt, heartsick prayer. I prayed for one simple thing. The situation was such that I could've prayed for a total turnaround so that everything was great again. I didn't. I tried to get to the very heart of what I truly needed just at that moment. So I prayed only that someone would feel the love of God on their heart, soften, and have the clarity of mind to respond, and make one phone call.

And she did.

It's Been Seven Years

It's the date of our generation. Nine eleven. 9-11. September 11. 911. I wasn't born yet when Kennedy was shot, but I remember my Mom talking about where she was when she heard the news. I wasn't around when Martin Luther King, Jr. was murdered either.

I understood the gravity of those events, in the only way someone who wasn't there can. I remember where I was when I heard that Elvis died. I know that sounds trivial compared to 9-11, but for some reason, I remember that. I was very young, but it was a big deal to me. I liked his music, but my Mom really liked it, so I knew that it meant more to her. I don't remember the date though.

I was working at a newspaper Sept. 11, 2001. I got up to get ready for work just like every other day, and was in the shower when I heard a shout from outside the door.

"A plane just crashed into the World Trade Center in New York! It's on TV!"

I hurried to finish my shower. By the time I got downstairs, we stared at the screen and watched as the second plane hit. I was still confused, I just didn't understand what the hell was going on. It took a moment for me to comprehend that this was NOT an accident. This was intentional, and I was in shock. My head was spinning with questions, and I was weak.

I remember asking out loud, "Am I supposed to go to work, I mean, what are we supposed to do?"

I did go to work. We worked, but it was so surreal, and it felt stupid to call people and do interviews for stories about local news. I think most of the day was spent checking the AP wire, and speculating about what was going on. The newsroom was a strange place to be that day, but as a journalist, it was the place I wanted to be. I didn't want to be alone, and I had to know what was going on.

We each got a copy of the front page with a huge banner headline in some enormous font size, while the news unfolded that we were under attack, and it all came together. Pennsylvania, the Pentagon, and New York.

In the next few days and weeks the newsroom got calls about local people who wanted to help.

We got a call that some school kids in my coverage area had started collecting pennies at their school for the kids in New York. Of course every school was doing something in response to the disaster. I wrote stories on ladies who were making patriotic hats and donating money from the sales. Everyone wanted to help. Everyone I talked to said they wanted to go to Ground Zero to do anything they could.

It was such a great feeling to know that everyone - EVERYONE - was united in the United States of America.

I will always remember the way our country rallied, and unified. Remember all of the flags? I had one in my car for a long time. I went around our neighborhood and took loads of pictures of everyone's flags flying, taped to their car windows, or nailed to garage doors. Some were mounted on pickup trucks, and I remember one on a Harley that was so huge I thought it would surely get caught in the back wheel. Seeing that Harley with the flag billowing behind brought tears to my eyes.

This generation will never forget, and we'll tell our children and grandchildren where we were when we heard or saw the news. I just pray they will only have a vague understanding of it, and that they won't have a date of their generation.

Things Explained by a Boy Who is Six

We were driving one day, and I said that I had a song stuck in my head and I didn't know why. I didn't even really like the song.
Sean said, "It's stuck in your head because your head takes pictures of things. Like if you saw a Thirth Avenue on a sign, it will make you remember 30,31,32,33, and things that start with three."

Ruined?

The whole country is buzzing about a 17-year-old girl who is pregnant, (Sarah Palin's daughter) and I heard someone say "not just her life has been ruined, but the poor young boyfriend's life is ruined as well."



I had my first baby at age 17.

I believe that it is always difficult to be thrust into an adult world when one is so young. These two young people have a future filled with challenges, because that is what happens when you have a child. To have a child and not even have finished your education presents tougher challenges, to be sure.

However, I have to argue with the word "ruined." I am a living example that the decision to have a child does not ruin your life. I have my opinions about the services that should be available to those who choose to have a child when they weren't planning to do so. And yes, I believe there are some people out there, no matter how old they are, who shouldn't be having kids at all. They aren't equipped to do it, and have no interest in trying to do what it takes to learn how to be a good parent.

I was blessed. The circumstances surrounding my pregnancy couldn't have been better, really. I was able to marry the father of the baby, and then had another child with him. He was a responsible person, and had a job. His family totally supported us, and loved us. They welcomed me into their family, and I couldn't have asked for better in-laws. We divorced after five years into it, largely because I was just too young when we got married, and had no idea what I wanted, or what I was getting into.

I admit it was hard. Being 17, and a stay-at-home Mom was not easy. There are all sorts of social problems that come into play. Young mothers are disrespected by other Moms who are of Mom age, and by professionals as well. When the kids started school, I was treated like the oddball, and not really accepted by the PTA members or the little clicks of Moms.

None of that felt very good. I was always the outsider. But my life wasn't ruined.

I was determined to be the best Mom I could be. I read everything, watched television shows dedicated to child-rearing and pulled from the knowledge I gained from the way I was raised as well. While none of this was perfect, and I now realize some of it was actually wrong, I still had the dedication and desire to be a good mother.

And I was lucky. I was able to finish high school with the rest of my class. Within a couple of years, I started college. Eventually (it did take me a while) I got my degree, and started on a career path.

Though I wouldn't call my life a charmed life, or even a financially stable one, it wasn't ruined.

So I think about this word "ruined," and I wonder what it would really take to ruin a life.

There are some awful things that happen in this world, and they may come close to "ruining" a life, but I still see hope. Everything is a process, and I believe that with help, people can work through things.

I can tell you that the birth of my children was not something that ruined my life. They have each brought joy and love to my life, even when they do things that make me irritated, and I don't like some of their choices.

So I wish this young lady every bit of luck in the world, and I pray that she truly has the support of her family, and the young man in her life. She will be doing this in a spotlight, and having a baby so young isn't easy. But will it ruin your life? I don't think so.

Montessori Days

It's back to school time, and I'm excited. This will be Sean's third year in a Montessori school, and I have been so pleased with our experience. No school is perfect, but from the first day I have felt totally at ease leaving him in their care.

I love the curriculum, and it fits him for now. I take it year by year. The school he attends goes beyond Primary (3-6 years old) so our options are open as long as I can continue to afford it, and he continues to fit with it.

He has Spanish twice a week, PE, and art.
He also started his first piano lesson today, something that is offered through the school. Next month he will start his second year of Chinese.
Have I said I really like this school??


The only photo I could get of the first day back at school. Thanks Gwennie, for the cool Spider-Man lunch bag.
I snapped this picture before he realized I had the camera, and that was it, no more pictures. This is part of Sean's classroom, and he is celebrating his birthday with a Birthday Circle.

The Birthday Circle Celebration is really fun. We started out with a poster that we put together with pictures of Sean from each year, and he and I both talked about what he was doing, and what he liked, etc. during each stage of his life.

The teacher prepares the circle with a cloth, a candle in the middle, and the names of each month on cards around the circle. The one celebrating a birthday begins on their birth month and walks around the "sun" which is the candle, with the Earth, which is the globe. They walk around for each year they have celebrated. Then the teacher brings out the magic box that plays "Happy Birthday," and the birthday child chooses if they want to have the class sing. (Sean chose not to.)

That was a very hectic day for me, and I felt like I needed a body suit with a big S stitched on the front, and a flowing cape. I was running from his school, to an event I had to write about, back to his school for the Birthday Circle, and then home to write a story and turn in before Noon. And I made it, with a few minutes to spare.

Summer Snaps

Though it is still technically summer, it is over for us. We've had some fun times. Here are a few highlights.

We saw this guy on the rocks at the sand spit as we were leaving one day. Sean really wanted to catch him and bring him home, but they're really quick.

We went on a Mission trip with our church this summer, to help out a church at Ocean Shores. Sean helped get the walls ready for painting in the church office.

One of our favorite summer activities is going to the beach. Sean tried "surfing" this year with his Spider Man surf board.

Future helicopter pilot? Maybe. We had a lot of fun at the McChord Air Expo in July.

We love living here. There are so many things to discover and explore.