Ruined?

The whole country is buzzing about a 17-year-old girl who is pregnant, (Sarah Palin's daughter) and I heard someone say "not just her life has been ruined, but the poor young boyfriend's life is ruined as well."



I had my first baby at age 17.

I believe that it is always difficult to be thrust into an adult world when one is so young. These two young people have a future filled with challenges, because that is what happens when you have a child. To have a child and not even have finished your education presents tougher challenges, to be sure.

However, I have to argue with the word "ruined." I am a living example that the decision to have a child does not ruin your life. I have my opinions about the services that should be available to those who choose to have a child when they weren't planning to do so. And yes, I believe there are some people out there, no matter how old they are, who shouldn't be having kids at all. They aren't equipped to do it, and have no interest in trying to do what it takes to learn how to be a good parent.

I was blessed. The circumstances surrounding my pregnancy couldn't have been better, really. I was able to marry the father of the baby, and then had another child with him. He was a responsible person, and had a job. His family totally supported us, and loved us. They welcomed me into their family, and I couldn't have asked for better in-laws. We divorced after five years into it, largely because I was just too young when we got married, and had no idea what I wanted, or what I was getting into.

I admit it was hard. Being 17, and a stay-at-home Mom was not easy. There are all sorts of social problems that come into play. Young mothers are disrespected by other Moms who are of Mom age, and by professionals as well. When the kids started school, I was treated like the oddball, and not really accepted by the PTA members or the little clicks of Moms.

None of that felt very good. I was always the outsider. But my life wasn't ruined.

I was determined to be the best Mom I could be. I read everything, watched television shows dedicated to child-rearing and pulled from the knowledge I gained from the way I was raised as well. While none of this was perfect, and I now realize some of it was actually wrong, I still had the dedication and desire to be a good mother.

And I was lucky. I was able to finish high school with the rest of my class. Within a couple of years, I started college. Eventually (it did take me a while) I got my degree, and started on a career path.

Though I wouldn't call my life a charmed life, or even a financially stable one, it wasn't ruined.

So I think about this word "ruined," and I wonder what it would really take to ruin a life.

There are some awful things that happen in this world, and they may come close to "ruining" a life, but I still see hope. Everything is a process, and I believe that with help, people can work through things.

I can tell you that the birth of my children was not something that ruined my life. They have each brought joy and love to my life, even when they do things that make me irritated, and I don't like some of their choices.

So I wish this young lady every bit of luck in the world, and I pray that she truly has the support of her family, and the young man in her life. She will be doing this in a spotlight, and having a baby so young isn't easy. But will it ruin your life? I don't think so.