A Kinder Way Wednesday: No tone, please.

As I browsed the racks close to the cash register at the second hand store, I listened to the lady in line in front of me. She was a home and garden store employee, and she vented about her work with the ladies who were ringing up her stuff at the register.

The jist was that it can be a challenge to work with the public. Specifically, dealing with the demands of such individuals who frequent the garden section on occasion. Not only the demands, such as putting the potted plants into a small box, but the tone they use with the help.
She shared her story about a customer she encountered, and I know it's difficult to convey in print, but imagine the part in quotes with an indignant, accusatory tone.
Once the transaction was complete she told the customer to have a nice day, and the response was, "I'm not ready to leave yet!"

I used to work in a retail store, and I can tell you that not only the customers, but the co-workers needed some lessons in how to talk to others.

And it's not just the words, it's the tone that is disrespectful.
Now I can put some tone on when I need to, especially when I have a child who is ignoring me and believes they can do whatever they want instead of what they should. But I try my best to keep a respectful and cheerful demeanor.

This is something I've reminded Sean about in recent years. Sometimes his tone is disrespectful, in my opinion. (I've witnessed entire families talking to each other in that way. I won't have it.) I've talked to him about it, and when he does it now (much less frequently than he used to) all I have to say is, "No tone," and he knows what I mean. He usually responds with, "I'm not toning," in a soft voice, and then continues to talk to me in a much more calm manner.

I really don't understand why anyone would approach a person they have never met and use such an attitude and tone. I know people have very bad days, and some have been having bad days with no break for years. There are all sorts of reasons for being in a bad mood, but I think it would be appropriate to say: "Excuse me, ma'am/sir. No tone, please." Maybe all retail establishments should have a sign posted in their windows that says, "No shirt, no shoes, no service. And please, no tone. We have the right to refuse service for toning."

August hospitality, and Happy Birthday to Sean

August has been quite the month for gatherings at our house.
It started with a neighborhood barbeque. Chuck has wanted to host something like this for a while in order to get the whole neighborhood together to get to know one another. It just makes good sense. Plus he's involved in the emergency preparedness for our area, and one of the basics is knowing the people around you so you can work together in an emergency situation. You get to know who is skilled at what, who has what, etc.

It was a perfect day for a little grillin' and outdoor socializing.

I didn't know anyone, and it seemed that all of the people who showed up didn't really know anyone either and they've been living here for a lot longer than I have. Most of the homes aren't really close to each other, and we live on seven acres, so there's not a lot of talking to each other over the fence kind of action.
It was a lot of fun. Chuck grilled brats (pronounced brauts, as in those German sausages, not bratty children) and made his famous beans, and everyone brought a little something from salads to delicious desserts.
I kept thinking we needed name tags, because I'm awful with names and now I can only remember a few of them. But at least I would recognize the people if I saw them now.
One of the people who came is the lady who sells eggs down the way. It's so convenient to be so close. We get eggs from her at least once a week.
Another reason we hosted this little party was to get to know the kids in the area. We were hoping some kids Sean's and Lilly's age lived around here and they could play together. The ones who came were older, so we still don't have playmates here.
They all catch the bus at our corner, and we get a lot of rain here. Chuck and Brian, one of our closer neighbors, got together one afternoon and built a bus shelter for the school kids.

It took all day, but they got the bus shelter completed.

Chuck painted it with his sprayer, and then we had all the kids and adults who showed up to the barbeque sign it and leave messages on the walls with Sharpies. The men who were here dismantled it and loaded it into the truck, then put it all back together at the corner that afternoon.

We all got the chance to write on the walls.

We hosted a family barbeque the next weekend, and made it part of Sean's birthday celebration. He likes to be very involved in the planning and setup of his parties, and we have a tradition with the cake. He decorates his cake.

Happy Birthday to Sean!

He loves to spend time in the kitchen, and also loves to be creative. He wanted to use every attachment that came with the icing. He made the decoration in the middle to "make it interesting," and we all agreed it looked like Chinese writing. He enjoys the language and I'd like to get him back into it.

One of the desserts was provided by Aunt Bennie. Sean loves her Cherry Yum Yum, and she offered to bring it to this family function. I think it was one of his favorite birthday gifts.

We hadn't had Bennie's Cherry Yum Yum for years.
It's a layered dessert with graham crackers, pudding and
pie filling cherries.

Sean opens his train set.

Chuck got him a really nice electric train set. They had a good time setting it up in the gazebo.

I used to buy the stuff for a themed party and get the cake to match. We've done construction theme with a cake that had diggers and dump trucks (Matchbox cars) on it, and crumbled Oreo's that looked like dirt being excavated, etc. We've done the Spider Man theme with a tabletop decoration, matching plates and even masks for all of the kids at the party. (That one was a huge hit, BTW.) For the family barbecue I dug out some old stuff that we never used. We happened to be flying our pirate flag at the entrance to the driveway, and I happened to have some pirate plates, treat bags, and napkins. Sean decided to go with it.

He wanted to have his party with friends at the Reptile Zoo, but I wasn't crazy about the idea of taking food items into a place where salmonella is rampant. I thought of having the party at a nearby restaurant, but wasn't sure it was necessary.

We skipped the cake and decorations for the friend party, and just invited a few of his friends to come with us for an afternoon at the Reptile Zoo. We invited four and two could make it. It was a fun day, and the boys had a great time.

Kyle, Jacob-Joshua and Sean had a turn holding snakes.

The tortoises were out in the back yard. We've seen these guys in action before,
but it was a treat to be able to hang out with them again. Kyle had never been to the Reptile Zoo.

August has flown by. School begins this week, and the weeks that follow will be filled with meetings and activities. I'm involved with the school, with the non-profit that supports public Montessori, and with Sunday school at church, which also begins later in September.

Sea creatures and a movie

Chuck was working a shift today/night, and I had the kids, so this evening I decided to get them out of the house and into something different than we usually do. After dinner we packed a bag of blankets, some Reese's, M&M's sodas and juice packs and made our way to our local park thinking they were showing The Wizard of Oz as an outdoor movie tonight. I had never been, and thought it would be fun.

Turns out I missed it by a night. So we came back to the house, looked up outdoor movies on the ol' Internets and found another one at a park in Gig Harbor. This one was Oceans, a Disney movie.
You can see more about it here.

It was a bit slow for kids, but so beautiful. These kids were pretty attentive, and Sean is all about animals and sea creatures. He knew what most of them were before the narrator could begin to talk about them. Some we had never heard of, and that is always fun.

Afterward, a group called Harbor Wild Watch shared a little touch tank action with sea stars, crabs and such, and there were lights in the bay just off the public pier. The sea critters get curious about the lights and we got to see a few fish and lots of tiny jellyfish. I was hoping for something more exotic, like a squid or eel, but of course we've seen those before.

A Kinder Way Wednesday: Gentle Mindfulness

Years ago, back when I was in college, I took classes in Yoga and meditation. Those classes set me on a path, and I'm so glad I took them. I have not practiced Yoga consistently, and I've deviated from some of those lessons I learned during meditation, but overall I still hold onto some of those basic teachings.

One of the exercises in the meditation class asked us to be mindful of our movements. We were to be fully aware of each thing we did and how we did it.
One example was this:
When setting the table, we were supposed to mindfully set the silverware in its place.  The idea was to become more self aware.

I tried this and pretended in my mind that everything I touched, whether living or non-living, had feelings. I asked myself , if I were a fork how would I prefer to be placed onto a hard surface? Would I want to be tossed, set down with force, slid across the table, thrown onto a plate?

Of course there are things that must be forced, such as car doors, and certain other things. But the point of the exercise was not necessarily to be gentle with each and every thing, but to become mindful of ourselves and how we move through our environments.

It's easy to get caught up in the hectic pace of life and lose the mindfulness, but I find that the more mindful I am of what I am doing, the kinder I become.

Balancing Act

Yesterday marked the official start to a very busy 10 months ahead for me. I have joined a non-profit group called Golden Beads. Golden Beads supports public Montessori education in our area, and we are gearing up to sell Golden Beads apparel for both of the public Montessori schools' open house nights. We are also planning a candidate forum for the candidates running for school board, and a beautiful February dance.

The rest of this month is busy with meetings for work, and all of the rush to get ready for the start of school. Open house is Aug. 30, and I can't wait to tour the new building. The students will be in a temporary school until the new one is complete at our site.

Next month will be the start of school site council meetings, and the non-stop hustle that will lead into the holiday season.

I have enjoyed the summer break. I really needed the down time to rest and NOT attend as many meetings, and not drive as much. I spend a lot of time on the road. We drive about 20 miles one way to get to school.

I love being busy, and I enjoy all that I do. If I didn't I wouldn't do it. But we also have kids, work, a home, garden, and relationship to cultivate and grow. If I stop and think of all that I do it makes me wonder how I get it all done. I try not to think about it and just keep going on to the next.

Yesterday's sermon was about bringing the relationships to the center of your life. It's hard to balance all of the extra stuff and those most important relationships with family. We discussed this yesterday and decided we are doing pretty good, but need to make sure we don't let the important people in our lives slip out to the edges. Mostly the kids, but also our extended family members.

We are trying to incorporate special days with the kids into the last few weeks before school starts. We're planning another camping trip soon, and we've attended and are hosting family dinners this summer.

How do you balance your busy life?

Eating at Dave's, looking at cars

Last weekend Charlie took us out to eat at Famous Dave's. I had never been, and it was my kind of food. I'm not a big fan of the hunt club scene, and the walls were filled with hunting paraphernalia, but it was all interesting to look at. Plus, the food was good.
I wasn't feeling great. I had been in a rear-end accident and my neck and back were hurting.
We ordered the big meal that feeds 4-6 people. It had chicken, ribs, corn on the cob, cornbread muffins, baked beans and slaw. I should have taken a picture. It's served in a metal trash can lid (clean, of course.)

I did snap this shot as we were walking in.

I was wishing my boy Dave could be here for Dave's Day.

And this classic pic of Charlie...

On Saturday the LeMay Car Museum opened a portion of its doors and grounds to area firefighters and their families. There were hotdogs, hamburgers, snacks and ice cream and a few games and bouncy houses for the kids to enjoy.

We walked around a while and looked at some of the cars. Chuck ran into some friends, and I knew some of them. The kids had a great time.

This was a very cool slide.

Bouncy!

Next year the LeMay Car Museum will be in a brand new location with a cool building. We're excited to visit it once it is finished. You can read about it here. It's already taking shape, and it should be a pretty cool place to visit. 

A Kinder Way Wednesday: Don't eat my flowers, or I'll CUT YA!

Here in western Washington we don't have a lot of pesky bugs like they do in the southern states. We get the occasional fly, of course we have a lot of spiders, and Lord knows we have slugs and snails galore.

I have been known to spread a little slug bait in my day to save our flowers and rhododendron, but I've changed my murderous ways. My hate for the slug and snail have given way to a respect for their lives as well, and I use this instead.

All natural, eco friendly and RECYCLED. Egg shells. The slugs and snails don't like to slither across the egg shells, so we sprinkle crunched up egg shells around the flowers to protect them. (As you can see by the leaves on this dahlia, I was a little late getting out there with the egg shells.)

We eat a lot of eggs, and I do mean a LOT. We also have a LOT of flowers and plants around the property. So when we crack the eggs we rinse the shells and let them dry. We keep them in a zip lock bag and crunch them up as we go.

The egg shells also deter cutworms. I'd never heard of these, but they kill seedlings.

A show of arms and suction cups

It was a rare show. We've been to the zoo quite a few times, and yesterday was our first time seeing the famous octopus. Usually we have to really study the tank to get a view of him. He hides under his rock and sits there perfectly still.

Yesterday he suddenly started to move his arms in a rhythmic, rolling motion. It was a busy day at the zoo, so there was quite a crowd in the aquarium. As he started to emerge, a larger crowd of kids gathered, excited to see the show.

He came out, stretched himself on the adjacent rock, and puffed himself up. He hung on there for a few seconds, just long enough for some people to snap a few pics, then he went right back into his crevice. It was as if he came out for the crowd, strutted his stuff, and said, "That's all for now. Thanks for coming folks."

Now the really bad part of this story is that right before we arrived in the octopus area, my camera battery died. I only got a few pictures of this trip to the zoo. Usually not a big deal, because I have quite a lot of zoo shots. But I wanted more this time because Charlie is here visiting from Nevada.

Here's the best shots of the zoo this time around.

Sean and Charlie at the entrance to Pt. Defiance Zoo & Aquarium.

Sean was being stalked by the peacocks. They were making their
calling sound, and we joked they were saying, "Sean! Sean!"

Sharks. 

We invited Shane and Jacob-Joshua to come over and pick raspberries earlier in the day. We have so many of them, and we've frozen a bunch and I'll be making jelly or jam soon. We've already had raspberries and ice cream, raspberries and shortcake and ice cream, and these bushes just keep giving us more. 

After picking, we loaded up and made our way to the zoo. It was the perfect day for both activities.

A Kinder Way Wednesday: Don't Kill That!

I tend to be a let-live person. Whether it's a spider in the corner of a bathroom, or the question of capital punishment, I usually raise my hand in favor of let live.
I won't digress into the capital punishment topic. I'll save that for another day.
There are certain bugs and things that I will kill. The mosquito is one.

It's mosquito season. When the sun goes down there are certain areas of the yard and property that are pretty thick with mosquitos. Some of the windows don't have screens. Sean's room is one, and then there are a couple upstairs that don't have them. I leave the upstairs windows open a lot and don't have much trouble with bugs coming in.

We had a couple of really warm days, and I left the windows open in the evening. We were noticing a few mosquitos inside, and some moths, too. I had been successful in killing the mosquitos--yes, I know. Killing.

As Sean and I sat eating dinner we saw this guy on the ceiling.

Sean knew I was eyeing that big thing that looked like a huge mosquito.

"Don't kill him," he said. "He's not a mosquito. I know he looks like a big mosquito, but he's not. He's a crane fly."

This kid has loved bugs since he was a little toddler. He devours books on critters and crawly things. He read about crane flies in a book. He did think they eat mosquitos, which I took as fact, but upon further research found they in fact do not eat mosquitos. I'll have to break the news to Sean, however, I won't be killing them.

They live here and don't really hurt anything. They flit around sort of like a mosquito, but they don't land on people. I have only noticed them on the ceiling, the window screen downstairs, and sometimes on a curtain.
They aid in the decomposition of decomposing vegetation, like a compost pile. (wow, that's a lot of compos words.)

This creature goes in the let live category.
During my research I read that there are areas where they are very prevalent in this state and people are using spray to kill them. Most of them are harmless, although there are some species that cause a problem to vegetation and lawns, etc.
The spray is causing a problem for other things. If you're interested in some information about the crane fly you can find it here.

Stuff I don't need

That title could generate a really lengthy post. There are so many things I don't need. But I'll stick to the original point.

We're getting ready for a yard sale. We've gone through each cabinet, each drawer, our closets, and are down to only a few more closets and we'll have a complete inventory of things to keep. We've made a pile of things to sell, and we're making progress on things to throw away. We've made one trip to the dump already.

We've been going through the bigger items, like dishes and ratty furniture. Today I started going through my jewelry box. I have a lot of jewelry that I just don't wear anymore. Some of it really isn't that old. I bought it thinking it was pretty, then got it home and realized it just wasn't me.

I pulled these items out to decide if I should keep them or sell them. None of them are fine jewelry pieces, and most of it is stuff I've had since the 90s. There are a couple of those cheaper charms for the Italian charm bracelet that I had about eight years ago. The pink and brown circles are a set of earrings that I got last year. Cool as I thought they'd be, I put them on and they were way too big. I'm petite, and they just looked weird on me. I have some big hoop earrings that I think look fine, but these were just too much.

It feels good to methodically go through this stuff.
I've been able to let go of a lot of things, and then there are some things that I decided to keep. I tend to keep some things that have a strong emotion or memory connected to them. I've noticed that some of those items I kept during the last go-through are now in the give away pile.

We really enjoy looking at stuff, shopping at thrift stores and yard sales, and we like unique old things. But I've been able to avoid going to the thrift store or stopping at yard sales this summer because I knew I had to get rid of a bunch of stuff first. I typically have a pile to take to Goodwill on a weekly basis. I kept thinking the house should have been empty by now, but it is unbelievable how much stuff we have.
Which do you enjoy more, getting stuff at yard sales, or selling stuff at a yard sale?