A Kinder Way Wednesday: No tone, please.

As I browsed the racks close to the cash register at the second hand store, I listened to the lady in line in front of me. She was a home and garden store employee, and she vented about her work with the ladies who were ringing up her stuff at the register.

The jist was that it can be a challenge to work with the public. Specifically, dealing with the demands of such individuals who frequent the garden section on occasion. Not only the demands, such as putting the potted plants into a small box, but the tone they use with the help.
She shared her story about a customer she encountered, and I know it's difficult to convey in print, but imagine the part in quotes with an indignant, accusatory tone.
Once the transaction was complete she told the customer to have a nice day, and the response was, "I'm not ready to leave yet!"

I used to work in a retail store, and I can tell you that not only the customers, but the co-workers needed some lessons in how to talk to others.

And it's not just the words, it's the tone that is disrespectful.
Now I can put some tone on when I need to, especially when I have a child who is ignoring me and believes they can do whatever they want instead of what they should. But I try my best to keep a respectful and cheerful demeanor.

This is something I've reminded Sean about in recent years. Sometimes his tone is disrespectful, in my opinion. (I've witnessed entire families talking to each other in that way. I won't have it.) I've talked to him about it, and when he does it now (much less frequently than he used to) all I have to say is, "No tone," and he knows what I mean. He usually responds with, "I'm not toning," in a soft voice, and then continues to talk to me in a much more calm manner.

I really don't understand why anyone would approach a person they have never met and use such an attitude and tone. I know people have very bad days, and some have been having bad days with no break for years. There are all sorts of reasons for being in a bad mood, but I think it would be appropriate to say: "Excuse me, ma'am/sir. No tone, please." Maybe all retail establishments should have a sign posted in their windows that says, "No shirt, no shoes, no service. And please, no tone. We have the right to refuse service for toning."