A hat, a boy and an attitude

Is it possible to hate a hat? I do. There is a hat that my sweet 9-year-old boy loves to wear, but when he wears that hat he becomes a different boy. I hate that hat. I think it looks thuggish, and if there is one mission in my life it is to make sure he never becomes a thug.

Once that hat is on his head, my sweet little 9-year-old boy who still holds my hand in the department store, likes to sit next to me while we watch a movie and asks me to read to him, becomes aloof.

He not only won't hold my hand, he turns into a boy with no sense. He starts to talk about things that are ridiculous, topics that are irrelevant and sound like they are coming from someone who knows nothing about how the world works, and is generally unintelligent.

I don't know where he is getting this stuff, but I called him on it the last time he was wearing the hat. That hat brings all of this on, but I left the hat out of it.

Instead I confronted the behavior and the language and told him he sounded like a different person, someone who didn't make a lot of sense and didn't know all of the things he knows. I explained that he is really smart, knows a lot about how to build things, how machines work, he's good at math and writing stories, and has a great understanding of the world and people. But the way he was talking didn't sound right to me, it sounded like someone else.

He was quiet for a minute and then agreed with me that he does have a good grasp of how things work, and how to build things, and that even his friends think he is pretty smart. Then he launched into some information he had learned that day and started talking like he normally does, about his plans for his future and how he wants to start his own computer company.

He is growing up, and I am well aware that our lives will shift and change as he matures and no longer wants to hold my hand, receive a kiss goodbye from me, and generally believe I am the most uninteresting person on the planet.

Our family is blended, and blended again. We have children in their 20s, and the youngest is 9. I don't want to be one of those mothers that wants to keep the baby a baby, but I certainly don't want what he becomes when he puts on that hat.

Part of me wants to hide the hat, or better yet just burn it, but the logical part of me knows that wouldn't work. I have to confront the behavior, and next time he behaves that way I will share my observation with him about the hat and how he changes when he wears it.

How do you handle the hats, or shoes, or whatever triggers a change in your child?

Some attitude adjustments I found on the Internet
This little boy's hat is kind of cool.
I think my attitude would improve while wearing this Betmar Infinity Cap from Holland Hats.
Gotta love a man in an Irish cap.