I just want to get this thing settled

and get my damn money back.
Over the years I have heard a few recordings of prank callers and the poor folks who answer the calls. I was handed a cassette tape in the late 90's by a friend who warned me I should wait until I was home to listen to it. He had made the mistake of popping it in while driving. He said he almost ran off the side of the road because he was laughing so hard he was crying.

My copy was a copy, but the quality was pretty good. Turns out that tape was a bit of a plagiaristic endeavor because the real, original, hilarious recording was done by a guy in Maryville, Tenn. and I have a CD of that original. Funny stuff.

But the "Whoop Yer Ass tape," as we called it, included a lot of that phrase. It was actually quite famous among the 20 and 30 somethings crowd in several states across the south. The prank caller would call a business and have a complaint and end up saying, "I just wanna get this thing settled and get my damn money back." The business owner or manager would refuse, and the argument would ensue and escalate, and the caller would end with something about whoopin' somebody's ass over it.

Lucky for me I didn't have to take it that far today. Lucky for them too ;-) (I'm so scary. About 5' 1", 100 pounds.)
I got online to check my bank account to make sure my number in my head was the same number my bank had as my balance. Uhh, nope. I checked the history and found that a transaction with a company called Min Pai Shop.com in Beijing for more than $370 went through yesterday. I printed out my history and did a quick search online to find out if this place actually existed. It did this morning. I briefly saw a site that had some black T-shirts. I immediately drove to my bank to figure it out.

I don't have my money yet, and I had to cancel my debit card and get a new one issued to me. I had to fill out some forms, and now I wait. The woman at the bank told me Visa will investigate. I actually did have more than $370 in my account and thank God these blessed folks who so needed that $370 odd dollars didn't decide they needed more than that.

And when I went back online to take a closer look at Min Pai Shop.com it no longer existed. Hmm. Interesting.

In the car, on the way to the bank, I found myself thinking, "I just want to get this thing settled and get my money back." And I snickered as I remembered the line, "I'd hate to have to whoop somebody's ass over this. It ain't nothin' to me to whoop a man's ass. You mighta heard of me."

You probably had to be there.