Beautiful branches

I can't wait for the flowers to start blooming! In February, as I clipped our rose bushes, I started to pine for flowers. Then it hit me. I could make beautiful arrangements in vases with some of the branches I had trimmed from a bush in one of the gardens.

Forgive my ignorance. I don't know the name of the bush. When the leaves pop out, they are  pretty, varying shades of greens and cream, and the bush grows like crazy. I trimmed it way back this year. The little branches are a deep red, and the green vase on our mantle, I thought, was perfect for them.

Little yellow primroses are peeking out of the edge of the garden, and some of the other early spring flowers. I see the stalks and leaves of flowers I planted last year, and I'm anxious for the cutting flowers to burst out of their little sleeves so I can play with bouquets and fill the house with flower color and happiness again.

For now I'll enjoy the branch bouquet a while longer.

Wedding Invitations: Wedding Plans

It's all about the details, and when it comes to weddings there are so many details that I have days when it all seems a bit overwhelming.

Because the details are important to me, coming to a final decision on things has been a challenge. It doesn't help that there are so many choices.

Of course my name and address have gone out to the wedding business world because of my appointments at bridal shops, so I started to receive some wedding catalogs, including catalogs for stationary. I looked through them, but nothing grabbed my attention for our invitations.

In January we started to look online. The choices seemed endless. Once I realized I was not going to find any to match the Save the Date card perfectly, I started to open my mind to other designs. We found a few we thought we liked on a site called Wedding Paper Divas.  It takes a LOT of time to put them together. It seemed we just didn't have time to devote to it in one setting, so I did it a little at a time by saving the job in my account, and logging back in once in a while to add something.

We ordered a set that included the invitation, response card, and enclosure card with directions to the church and the reception venue. I received the proof, and I hated the whole thing.

I told Chuck I hated them, and we found another design we liked through the same company. I called them, spoke to a very nice representative, and was able to order that design. They were really helpful.

I thought we had it the way we wanted it, but when I received that proof I decided the font on the directions card was not what I really wanted. I wanted it to be a script font, but I wanted that card to be easy to read, in case someone actually uses it to get here.

There was a fancier script we had originally chosen for the invitation card, and I took a while to decide if I should leave it and if I would be unhappy with it if there were different fonts. I decided I would be unhappy, so I asked them to change the fonts so it would be a cleaner script. Still very nice, but not so scrolly and loopy. (I don't think those are real words, but I'm using them anyway.)

I hate to be indecisive, and I hate dragging things on and on. We just finished the invitations late last week, but I think they will arrive in plenty of time for mailing.

And yes, there are moments when I think it's all just silly, and maybe we should just go get married alone and have a big party to celebrate later. But honestly, it is going to mean a lot to me to have our families and friends there. In the end, I think it will all be worth it. I have talked to my friend, Karen, and asked if there was anything in their wedding that they regretted, and she said no.

I don't think we will regret anything, either.

Save The Dates: Wedding Plans

At first I wasn't sure we should even spend the money on Save the Date cards, but once we talked it over we both decided it was a good idea. It gives people advanced notice of the date, and we hope more people will be able to make it to the wedding if they have plenty of notice.

We wanted to get those cards out asap, but choosing just the right card became a bit of a task. There are so many choices, and I spent days looking. I finally just went for it, and made up a photo card through Shutterfly. I showed it to Chuck really quick, got his approval, and placed the order at the eleventh hour. They had a sale going on, and I wanted to take advantage of it because I wasn't sure they would have another sale before our deadline for getting the cards mailed. We saved a good chunk of money doing it that way. I think the final total was less than $1 per card.

We were both happy with the choice we made for the Save the Date card. I used a photo of us that our friend Scott took in the fall.

Photo by Scott Turner Photography

He came out and took pictures of all of us. That photo shoot was a story in itself. On the day he was scheduled to come out it was raining and everything was drenched. He got a few inside shots, some pics on the front porch, and in various places around the property. I figured they would be OK. But they weren't. Almost every one of them showed the water spots on our clothes.

Scott was disappointed with the photos and wanted to do another shoot. I wanted a good shot of the two of us for an engagement photo, but at the time I wasn't thinking of it for a Save the Date card. We did do another shoot, but it was a few weeks later. I waited until we got those photos to make a decision on Christmas cards, but I ended up using a photo from the original shoot that seemed perfect for the Save the Date card we chose. It was an inside shot that was taken before we ventured outside, so our clothes didn't have any rain spots on them.

I didn't want the card to be tossed into a pile, or lost in someone's recycle stack, so I took an idea from my daughter-in-law, Grace, and attached a magnet to the back of each card.
I couldn't find the same magnets she used, so I started asking around to see if anyone I knew had ideas for the best magnets in the size I wanted.
A friend suggested business card magnets. Her husband had just done it with his business cards, so she called to ask him where he got them. Office Depot.
I was able to find them there and cut them down to a manageable size with scissors. They had a peel-and-stick back, so it was super easy.

We've had a few people mention the cards in social situations. We are displayed on refrigerators all over the Puget Sound and beyond. Exactly what I was hoping for, so they will "save the date."

Next Post: Wedding Invitations

Flowers and Food: Wedding Plans

We've been talking about flowers for a few months.  I want varying shades of purple and blue, with some cream colored flowers. I'm not really picky about the type, but Chuck mentioned that he likes orchids, and I agreed they are really beautiful. I want him to have a say in things because it is his day, too.

Way back before we were actually planning, I thought I wanted peonies for my bouquet. I changed my mind once I saw some pictures of bridal bouquets. Peonies are really large, and I don't want anything to look out of proportion with me, because I'm petite. I do want my bouquet to have some drama, and I want it to be unique.

I believe we are going to use orchids in the bouquet, for the groomsmen, bridesmaids and on our cake as well. I also want lilacs in my bouquet because they were one of my Mom's favorite flowers.
She used to talk about them a lot, and we finally planted a lilac bush in the front yard about a year before she died. She never got to see it bloom. It finally had one little bloom on it just before Sean and I moved out.

I haven't decided which cream colored flower I want in the bouquet. I plan to have stems of lilacs, and other smaller purple flowers in small jars and bottles at the reception. I have a few larger, dramatic, vases for centerpieces, and the rest will be small.

Today I booked an appointment with a local caterer to talk about the reception menu. I go on Monday for a tasting and to talk about pricing.

My hunt for the right chairs and tables is ongoing. I got quotes from a rental company today, but I think I will call around to more places to see if there are other options.

Time is flying by, and I feel like we're pretty much on track, but I don't want to get behind. So far, not stressed or ready to elope. Although Chuck made a joke last night that it's not too late to go to Las Vegas.

As we get closer to the big day I might be wishing we had considered it as an option. But I really do want a meaningful ceremony with our friends and family there to witness it and celebrate with us.

Home again, home again, jiggity, jig

Canoeing, archery, kitchen duty, and dissecting a squid. Those were the highlights of our conversation about the camp experience as we drove home.

I admit that I am living vicariously through Sean on this one, just as I did when David and Jewel went off to church camp when they were little. I never went to "camp" as a child. My family camped, but that isn't the same. I never had the experience that I've seen in some of those goofy kid movies, where they are at camp and they have a leader with a bull horn calling out the name of the group that is always something like "OKAY, I WANT ALL OF THE GUPPIES IN FRONT OF THE FLAG POLE."

Sean was in a cabin group called The Huckleberries, and his learning group was called The Salmon. I haven't heard yet if there were bull horns, or competitive activities. It sounds like it was more about science and fun experiences. There were six boys in his cabin and two cabin leaders.

He loved the dissecting activity, although he said it was kind of gross. He told me about cutting the lens out of the eye, and how the leader explained how light effects the eyes. "I already know this, because of the work I did on my science project," he said. (His experiment was "Does eye color effect pupil dilation?)

When he was very young, probably 2 or 3 years old, we had a book about shells. Each page showed a layer of a shell and the creature inside. He loved that book. I've continued to buy those type of books for him, and so has his dad. He has a frog book, and a human body book that feature bones, muscles, etc. in layers.

I picked him up at the camp today, since it is only 3 minutes down the road from our house. The others were getting onto buses to head back into the city. As we were making our way to the car one of the cabin leaders was walking by and said goodbye to Sean, and that it was fun. Sean offered his hand in a handshake, and thanked him for being cabin leader for them.

Those are the moments that make me so proud, and so glad that he has had a Montessori grace and courtesy curriculum since he was four years old.

I'm always encouraging him to study hard and learn, but out there in the world, good manners and knowing how to get along in a group are just as important as reading and math skills.

Gone to Camp

Last night I was alone for the first time in a very long time.
Chuck was on shift, which I'm used to, but Sean has gone off to camp with his 4th and 5th grade classmates.

It's his first time away from home with people other than family. Their days are jam-packed with activity, and I'm hoping he is having a great time.

It's a little weird to be alone, and while I thought I would get a bunch of things done, I didn't.

I stopped off to do a little shopping after work yesterday, and the only thing I really got accomplished after I got home was a little bit of laundry.

Sean comes home tomorrow afternoon. I should have taken a photo to chronicle this big milestone, but just getting to camp and getting him used to the idea took quite a while. And I mean weeks. So I didn't want to interject any distractions at drop-off. But it was a cute scene. He had is little rolling suitcase, and his sleeping bag roll with pillow. And as soon as he saw his friends he was gone. Barely a "goodbye" to me.

It was one of those moments when part of you is sad, and the other part is proud to see your child embrace a step forward in development.

Pre-Marital Work: Don't Make Me Think I'm Crazy

Noisy and bustling, our restaurant choice proved to be quite a challenge for us to focus on the work we had to do today. Chuck and I met to write one of the contracts at the end of a chapter in the book, "Discovering a Dynamic Marriage. "

We met for lunch at what we thought was going to be a quiet restaurant. The only booth available was behind the server station, and next to the door of the kitchen. We tried sitting side-by-side, but that didn't work either. It got louder, and there were several people who Chuck knew there. We finished our lunch and headed out to find a quieter place. We drove to his office, and it was quiet and we were able to forge ahead and had a great conversation.

Honesty was the main topic. To have a truly intimate marriage we need to be honest with ourselves first. We talked about facing past hurts and things in our lives that have changed us, looking realistically at who we are and why, and then sharing that with each other.

This requires trust and respect. We have to trust each other enough to share it, and we have to respect what the other is saying, even if it doesn't feel very good at the time. And when that happens, we need to be able to talk about why it doesn't feel good to us, and what our needs are.

Our busy lives can sometimes lead us to lose focus, but the first contract we wrote addressed our need to connect and spend time with each other for a minimum amount of time each week, and to make our time together a priority. We believe that by holding to that contract, our ability to remain honest will become easy and natural for us.

One of the topics in the book is called "Crazy Making." Couples who have a connection can sense when something is wrong in the relationship, or if the spouse or loved one is having some sort of trouble. Crazy Making happens when that loved one denies that something is wrong when asked. You know you can feel that something isn't right, and when the person dismisses your concern you begin to second guess yourself. This is completely unfair. It's dishonest, and only creates more problems for the relationship. By the time you find out the truth, and you always eventually do, the trust has been damaged.

We agreed to have some code words if there is really a legitimate reason to keep a secret. These are only in cases of a surprise gift or party. When asked we will respond with something like, "This is something for you, and that's all I can say right now."

We also talked about my desire to let some things go. Everyone has to do what is best for them and their situation. I believe women are a true gift in all areas of society, and I have enjoyed a lot of work I've done with organizations that were predominantly made up of women. I don't think we should go back to the days when women were not valued as contributors to the workforce and our society.
I'm just spread too thin. I'm a doer, and I hate to sit by and watch when I know I could be helping. It's a gift and a curse, I guess.

I work part-time. I commute quite a distance each way, and spend a LOT of my life on the road. Because we travel over a toll bridge I stay in town most days to avoid paying twice to go over the bridge, because once I'm finished with work, I still have to pick Sean up from school in town. Getting home can take up to an hour some days, if I have to stop for anything on the way home.

I've been in a leadership role at church, but haven't felt like much of a leader at all because I'm so busy. I'm part of two other organizations that meet regularly. This is going to be my last year for at least one of them. I'm still deciding on the other. And I am planning to cut back on some of my work at church.

I truly don't know how people hold their marriages together when they are pulled in so many directions. For me, I need to be home more. I have a real need to be taking care of things at home, and I hate feeling that nothing I'm doing is being done well.