For All Women-Especially the 30-somethings

What To Expect When You're Expecting Menopause

You might think this doesn't pertain to you. Stop. Do not click off of this page. This IS FOR YOU if you are a woman of any age, but especially if you are in your mid-to-late 30s, or 40s.

Some women would rather not know, and just want to be surprised when the time comes for menopause to begin. If that describes you, go ahead and click off of this page.

Oh, and before you read any further, there are some bad words in this post. 

If you are still reading, you should know that you can begin to experience pre-menopausal symptoms as early as your 30s.

Anyone can look in a medical manual, or get basic information from a doctor about the changes that will occur during menopause, but how many of them have explained the process to you? A manual isn't another woman who knows, giving you the whatfors. And most women see a doctor who is either a man, who obviously hasn't experienced, nor will he ever understand, the symptoms, or a woman who hasn't reached menopause yet. Although they try to be helpful, they have NO IDEA.

That's right. None!

So, sisters, this is for you. Settle in. Make a cup of tea, iced or hot, it doesn't matter. Curl up with a soft throw, and you might want a box of tissues as you read this post. If you've already reached menopause, you know what to do. Skip the hot tea. Skip the throw, and instead throw open that window.

What To Expect First

You will begin to feel symptoms of menopause long before you reach menopause. There is no way to know exactly when this will happen. Usually between the late 30s and 40s. This is called peri-menopause, but who really cares what it's called. It sucks. You could call it suckopause, or you can name it after your least favorite person, or even use a curse word. I like the word son-of-a-bitch, because I tend to mutter son-of-a-bitch under my breath when I have some of these symptoms. But technically that is more than one word. Feel free to string some bad words together and use them as either adjectives or verbs when saying the word peri-menopause, or menopause.

You will curse. Believe me. You will curse. If you've not been the cursing type, get used to this new part of yourself, but if you can, try to mutter the curse words under your breath. Cursing in public for no apparent reason could make things worse. You'll be suffering. You don't need people staring at you as if you need mental health services, or calling the police, or screaming at you because you just called their toddler a mother*&^%%$$. Which you didn't, you just blurted it out loudly in that general direction. But parents are sensitive.

Maybe you already have mental health services, and if you do, own that shit. Wear it like a badge, because honey, you are better off than the rest of us who are denying that we need it.

But this first phase, Phase One, is manageable. You most likely will feel a bit warm sometimes, especially when you go to bed. You might wake up cold from a bout of the sweats, kind of like a fever. And it can trick you into thinking maybe you had a fever that broke in the middle of the night and you didn't even know you had one.

That is a trick. You didn't have a fever. It's night sweats. But here's the kicker...Waaait for iiit... You skip periods.

I know. Great, huh? Youbetcha. Except for the paranoia of thinking you might be pregnant again. That's not very fun, but boy are those period-free months great.

If you keep a calendar, and have always paid close attention to your menstrual cycle, you might notice that your period shows up late, or early, sometimes not at all. Sometimes you skip a couple of months at a time.

This is the good part, so go ahead and sit in a yoga pose, breathe deeply, and focus on that good part there. "Oooommmm. I won't have to buy pads or tampons this month. Oooooommmmmmm. I don't have PMS this month. Ooooommmm." (What you save in spending on pads and tampons this month might get spent on pregnancy tests. Just sayin'.)

You will want to get used to either cursing, or saying Ooooommmm. Here's why: Your moods will begin to be as unpredictable as your cycle.

That's right. If you've been a cool cucumber all your adult life, that's about to change.

You'll have great days, sure, but you'll have moments on those great days when you feel a bit homicidal. Just for a few minutes. It won't last. You'll be back to your cool self in moments. And then when you aren't expecting it, it will come on again, that homicidal rage feeling. It can be over something as small as misplacing your keys, or someone might say something that you take the wrong way.

Again. Say it with me, Ooooommmm. Or you can choose a curse word from your list of favorites. Either way, it will help. But whatever you do, DON'T kill anyone. Really, if you start to feel serious about the homicide thing, seek immediate mental health services. For real. And don't be ashamed. You're a menopause warrior now.

Get ready for this, because we're still in phase one, here.

You can also experience a period from hell. I mean just as you are in the midst of reveling in the non-periodness of it all, the next one can require those mega pads that I call horse pads, and it could last for two weeks. Not kidding. So even if you skip a month, buy tampons and pads anyway.

Oh, and you'll start to gain weight. It came on slowly for me, kind of sneaky-like. I gained a pound or two, and then another pound. And then a couple more. I gained about five pounds in Phase One.

But Phase One is manageable.

There is no way to predict how long Phase One will last. Maybe that is why doctors don't bother talking about these things in a way that helps us get ready for it. Maybe menopause is just too unpredictable to address.

Phase One lasted about three years for me.

Phase Two:

For some, Phase One is not bad at all, and they skip right on to Phase Three. I haven't heard of it, but I guess there could be some women who don't go through phases at all, and their periods just stop and that is it. I haven't heard of it, but then, how many of us have heard much of anything about menopause?

It is most likely that you will experience something similar to these phases.

So. You've been in Phase One for a while. You've gotten used to missing some periods here and there, and maybe you've had a few times when you felt a bit warm, just needed a little extra breeze, or had to turn the air conditioning down a degree or two.

Now, Phase Two begins.

In Phase Two the periods are all over the place. There is no way to predict when they will start or end. You might skip three or four months. The next one might arrive like it used to, back in the day, before Phase One. Remember back when you had those wonderful, predictable periods? Ah, don't you miss those days now?

You might have a period that plays out just as predicted, and then it ends, right on time. And you might think you're going back to normal again, back to the pre-peri-menopause days. But a week later, that period is back. Like a bitch.

This can go on and on. You need to keep pads and tampons on hand, because you just never know when this will strike, how intense it will be, or how long it will last. Go to Costco, if you have one, and get the largest box of your favorite feminine hygiene products. (Seriously, if you experience a period that lasts for an extended amount of time, you definitely should seek medical attention. It can be dangerous, and most likely you will be iron-depleted.)

Also in Phase Two, what used to be just a warmth that required a little extra breeze has now turned into an internal inferno. It starts somewhere in the gut and radiates out to the edges of the torso, working it's way down the legs and up the chest to the arms and face, all at the same time. Your body will feel like it is on fire. You will sweat in places you might not have sweat before. Like your knees. Yes, ladies, your knees can sweat.

Try to remain calm. Softly mutter your preferred curse word under your breath so as not to disturb anyone, or generate any extra heat. Slowly make your way to an open window, or step outside into cool air, or inside into cool air, depending on the time of year. Whatever you do, do not panic. The more you panic and begin to flail your arms to cool yourself, or find a newspaper or magazine to fan yourself, the longer it will last. These hot flashes usually last for only 30 seconds to a minute at the very most.

I know, it's hard. The moods, the hot flashes, and the moods because of the hot flashes. Mental health services might not be a bad idea at this point.

Those occasional night sweats are now more frequent in Phase Two. They can be so intense that you search for a dry spot on the sheets so you don't freeze to death in the middle of the night. You won't find one. Just get up and go to the bathroom for a towel. Two, actually. One for your body that is literally dripping with sweat, as if you just came out of a sauna, and another for the bed. Actually, you might need more than one for the bed.  Place those over the drenched sheet. Don't change the sheets. It might happen again before morning. (I know, the top cover is also wet and now you're freezing. Don't worry. You'll warm up soon.)

If you're a spooner, or a cuddler, those days are over, honey. You might get a minute or two of spooning in bed with your loved one, but any longer than that and you will be throwing the covers off, opening the window as wide as it will go, or leaping out of the bed, headed for the freezer for that refreshing cold air.

You will gain more weight. I gained another five pounds in Phase Two, bringing me to 10 extra pounds at that point.

Now, at this juncture you might be ready to talk to your doctor about what to do for these awful symptoms. You may have offended someone in your family by now, and your friends?--they might be wondering what is up with all of the cursing and erratic moods.

I did this. I asked, and my doctor gave me birth control pills. I was 41. I don't recommend this route whatsoever. Not at all. But that is my opinion.

I got no clear answer from my doctor about how long I would need to take these to get my hormones back in balance. I think I took them for six months.  I ended up taking myself off of them because I could no longer afford them. I didn't have health insurance at the time. Those pills made my periods stop altogether, made me feel kind of sick, like I was pregnant, and made me bloat, and I had started to gain the extra weight. I had taken birth control pills before, in my 20s, and this time around they were not my friend.

Coming off of the birth control pills was so much worse than the symptoms of peri-menopause. So, so, so, much worse. I couldn't even walk a few feet without breaking out in a total body sweat. I felt like I would throw up each time. To walk from my living room to the kitchen was a huge effort. I was dealing with sweat, hell-fire hot flashes, nausea, fatigue and raging mood swings while trying to work, run a house and be a single mom. I wished that I had never started taking the pills.

Since that time I've had a second opinion, and my current doctor says she would not ever give birth control pills to a woman of that age. She has a variety of options, one of them being hormone replacement.

My Phase Two lasted a couple of years.

And here's what to expect in what I believe is the final phase, Phase Three:

Phase Three includes night sweats, hot flashes, and occasional ickyness kind of like PMS.
The periods stop altogether.

The moods will level out, but you'll gain more weight, which might put you in a bad mood.

If you were always a sex kitten, brace yourself. You're going to look at sex in a whole new way. You might not care much about it sometimes. Or you might not want it at all.

On top of that, your vejayjay might not like sex, either. It might even hate it. It could be painful. Things change down there, and it ain't pretty, sisters. Dryness is just the beginning. The lack of estrogen causes physical changes, and makes our vejayjay less flexible and the tissues are thinner.

Other parts of your body will change, too.

Your hair will change. Most likely it will get thinner and limper, but it could get curlier and thicker.

If you once had beautiful fingernails, that could change. They can get brittle and dry.

Your skin, too. That will be drier than before.

You could see a change in the way your body reacts to, and processes, foods. My body doesn't process foods the same way it used to. I can't drink milk. Bread makes me bloat, leading me to believe I am possibly becoming gluten intolerant. Corn is in almost everything, and I don't process corn well at all.

Here's what I'm doing to try to help with these symptoms.

I'm starting to take daily doses of calcium, Vitamin D, and Vitamin E. I use a daily moisturizer for my face, which I've always done since my 20s, and I use a really good body lotion. I use a moisturizing soap in the shower also.

I'm not super worried about the weight, because I had some room to grow, so to speak, anyway. But I don't really like how my body is right now, so I'm trying to get more exercise, eat more whole foods and drink more water and tea. I buy organic, fresh vegetables and fruits when I can, and stay away from meats and dairy that could have growth hormone or antibiotics. We have chickens, and feed them the best feed available that is non-GMO, organic feed, so we have great eggs.

I notice that when I eat processed foods, or fast foods frequently, I feel worse. And for me, corn is a trigger. I have more hot flashes and night sweats when I eat things that contain corn syrup, so I'm trying to eliminate those altogether.

I'm seeing a chiropractor and a massage therapist due to a car accident a few years ago, but I think they also help with some of the symptoms.

I haven't tried any of the options my current doctor has told me about just yet. I keep thinking I'll be able to handle it. For the most part, I'm doing fine, but I am concerned about bone loss, osteoporosis, and whatever might be happening inside, so I'm beginning to think about the options.

I'm going the natural route as much as possible, but if this doesn't appeal to you, definitely go to your doctor to get whatever you believe will help you.

If you are a 30-something woman, start talking to your doctor now. And don't let them tell you you're too young to worry about it. Definitely don't worry about it, but get informed.

I'm sharing this to help other women. Most of us had a mother, aunt, or older sister to give us the information about our changing bodies as we approached puberty. We need a similar talk about menopause.

Lastly, I'm still in Phase Three, so I don't know what is ahead of me, or for you. I'm hoping this is the final phase, and that the worst is behind me. If something different happens, I'll update with a new post.

I do know that there are some great things about this phase. One is that I don't worry about birth control. Another is that I've discovered a feeling of calm and peace in who I really am. I don't care what others think, never really have, but now I am just ready to be who I am meant to be, with my flaws. I'm no longer striving to become a perfect person. I'm great just the way I am.

And so are you!

Relationships are hard. Or are they?

A friend of mine is having some struggles with her relationship.
She said to me, "Relationships are hard."
I've heard that before. I've said it before, and more than once. I now realize it was because I wasn't with the right person. When you find the right person, in my opinion anyway, it isn't so hard after all.

I won't dare to try to discuss her struggles here, or those of another friend who is also experiencing some painful issues with a husband and trying to blend their families, because relationships are complex and difficult to understand when you are looking from the outside.What I will discuss is my relationship with my husband, and my observations about what makes our marriage work. I've had some that didn't work.

You see, when my husband and I began dating we were brutally honest with each other. I wasn't afraid to speak my truth, because I was completely and totally fine with being alone. I was doing just fine, and wasn't looking for anyone when we started dating. And he was done with being with someone who wasn't right for him, and trying to please someone by being who he isn't.

So we had that talk of, "Let's get it all out on the table. This is who I am. This is what I want. And this is what I don't want. Now if any of that is not in alignment with what you want and don't want that is completely fine. It doesn't mean I don't like you, it means we shouldn't waste our time trying to make this work when it clearly won't."
This conversation took place over many days. Probably more than a week, at least. And then even after that as we would think of more things to talk about, we would add to it. If he had ever dismissed my needs, or if his needs had not been ones I was willing to fulfill, we would have ended the relationship in those first days. We constantly gave each other permission to do so, and kept the conversation going so that we were totally open and honest with ourselves and each other.
Turns out all of our deal breakers were in total alignment.

I allow my husband to be who he is. And when I find myself frustrated by something he is doing, or not doing, I remind myself that I know him. We spent some time getting to know each other before we got married, so I know that he loves to work. I know that he sometimes struggles to communicate clearly with me. I knew these things about him before I married him, and even with these little things that I sometimes wish were different, he is absolutely amazing.

I can't expect him to change. He won't. He is who he is, and that is exactly why I married him. I know there are things that I do or don't do that drive him a little nuts. I try to correct them, but I am who I am also, and so there will always be things that I wish I could change but are just not that easy for me.

So, whenever something crops up that I don't like, I take a breath and remind myself that I don't know everything. I can't control everything. I have to let go and let him do what he does and be who he is, but if there is something we can do to make it better, we do it.

The great thing is that we can communicate about issues, and he truly listens to me and validates my feelings. In that regard I am truly blessed beyond belief, and it is one of the biggest reasons I feel in love with him.

Another thing that I think helps our marriage is that we both give. He gives so much to me. He is so patient with my quirks and mistakes, and he really shows me that he cares about me and loves me.

We send each other messages. They are random. Some days I don't get a message. Other days I get a message and a phone call. Some days I'm just out running an errand and think of him and send him a short message just to say, "I love you."

We don't argue. We really don't. For some people that would not work. They need to argue. We don't. We only need to discuss.

Pretty frequently I think of the vows I spoke to him during our marriage ceremony. I promised to approach him from a place of love and understanding. I try to see things from his perspective. And even when I think I know I have it figured out, I'm usually just wrong. His mistakes and quirks have nothing to do with any intentional slight toward me.

And I've learned that if I have an issue with something, I have to address it immediately instead of waiting. If I address it immediately we can have a calm, intelligent conversation and come to a solution.

We've bumped up against some things, we dealt with some things while we were dating and living together, and we've had some things crop up since our marriage. We have addressed them head-on and worked through them.

Blending a family takes a lot of patience, stamina, thinking outside the box, and attention. We are still learning what works and what doesn't.

We also have to take into account our backgrounds-- where we come from, both geographically and emotionally, and how we grew up. These things are not to be used as a weapon or arguing point, but instead to understand one another and give clues as to why we see things the way we do.

But we are not mind readers. No one is. It is completely unfair to expect someone to automatically know what your needs are without you speaking them out loud. I've seen some posts on Pinterest and Facebook about what it REALLY means when a woman says, "I'm fine," or "Go ahead and do whatever you want," and the list is longer than I am giving you here.

Saying things that mean the opposite of what you feel or think is a waste of breath. It's a waste of your life. We only have a specific number of minutes in our lives. Don't waste them with this kind of garbage.

You want that person to know what your needs are, but they don't. They only know if you tell them. So tell them. If they don't acknowledge your needs after you've spoken them out loud, or they choose to leave your needs unaddressed, you have a decision to make. And it could mean that you need to do some work on yourself before you can move forward in your relationship.

I really believe that the key to making a relationship work is to communicate clearly and honestly, and if what you are saying isn't clear, restate it in a different way. I've started using the words, "What I need," and , "I feel." When this or that happens I feel ____, and so what I need is ______.

This can feel really weird at first if you're used to arguing and yelling. It is best if you try it alone first, and just talk it through with yourself before you address it with your partner. And your partner may be completely thrown off by this if this is not how you normally communicate. You might want to preface the conversation with, "Hey. I am going to try something different, so hang with me while I try this," and then start with your "I feel" and "I need" statements.

A big thing for me is alone time with him. We have kids, and we have a blended family, which means kids come and go on weekends. We rarely, very rarely, EVER have alone time.

So, for instance, if he has been working a lot and we haven't had any time together, I give him a heads up that I need to talk when he has a moment. When that moment comes, and he does makes it happen asap, I start by saying something like,
"You've been working a lot, and I've been busy too, and we haven't had any time alone. When I don't have time alone with you I feel disconnected, and that makes me feel sad and lonely. I notice that I'm not able to function at a high level throughout my day when I feel that way. So what I really need is some alone time with you. Do you think we can schedule some time to do something, just you and me?"

There is no blame. There is no arguing. He doesn't get defensive about working. I don't berate him about working. I'm very specific about my feelings and my need. And I don't harbor negative thoughts and feelings about it. We find a solution together. And then it is over. We don't drudge it up later when something else comes up.

We read a book that our pastor recommended, and we worked through a lot of it prior to our ceremony. It's called "Discovering a Dynamic Marriage." It's a lot of work. I won't lie, it took a lot of commitment from both of us to work through the exercises, but I treasure the memories of meeting once a week to go over our work in those chapters.

In a nutshell, what works to keep our relationship great is:
Honest communication about our feelings and our needs
Addressing issues immediately
No name calling
No arguing
No matter what, approaching each other from a place of love and seeking to understand
Allowing each of us the freedom to be who we are
No unrealistic expectations, i.e., mind reading
Owning mistakes, but practicing forgiveness and gentleness with one another
No keeping score
No drudging up old issues that have already been dealt with

It makes me sad that so many people are having difficult times in their relationships.

Being a partner in a loving relationship has been one of the greatest things that has ever happened for me. If your relationship isn't what you want it to be, there are resources out there. Utilize them before it is too late. Most people who seek marriage counseling have had a dead marriage for at least two years, and so the success rate is low. If you seek help as soon as you realize you could use someone who can walk you through a way to better communicate, your marriage could be a success story.

Who knows your child? You do.

Experience, age and years of child rearing have given me an insight that I believe is unique and has shaped the way I am currently parenting.

In those first years of parenting I did what my mom did with me and my brother, mixed with a little of my own intuition and knowledge I picked up along the way. I devoured parenting magazines, and I loved reading anything I could find that would give me information on the latest and best baby products, toys, strollers, car seats.

I was a very young mother, and was constantly judged. I felt that I was under a microscope wherever I went.
Grocery store, department store, and later on it was other parents at their school. I was young, and I looked even younger than I was. It made life difficult.

But I wanted to be a parent, and I wanted to be a good parent, and so I absorbed as much parenting education as possible in any format available. I religiously watched Terry Brazelton, a pediatrician, talk about childhood development on a PBS show.  It was seriously one of my favorite shows at the age of, what, 19 or 20, I guess.

All of this is to say that I've been parenting for many years, and I've always tried hard, but I've also made some mistakes.
One thing I know is that we have to make sure that our children know they are loved, that we care about them, that we want to listen to what they are saying, and that we are always there for them no matter what they do. We also have to set limits and be consistent in those, but we have to know our children, and treat them as individuals.

Recently I encountered someone who hinted that my child needed their direction. I sought this person out for something we needed, so I was more open to hearing what they had to say. And I almost convinced myself that they knew better than I did, and that maybe my child did need a firm hand. I could see that they believed my child needed not only a firm hand, but a militaristic approach--and none of these things were what I was seeking.

My inner voice was nagging me the whole time, and once I was able to come home and process the encounter I realized that I had almost allowed a total stranger to convince me that they know better than I do what my child needs.

I know my child. I know his quirks, I can read him and I know when he's upset, when he's feeling overwhelmed, when he needs to take a break, when his behavior is the result of low blood sugar or the lack of protein, and I know when he needs me to be stern and firm, and when he needs me to just listen.

No one knows him better than I do. No one knows what he needs more than I do. No teacher, preacher, or family friend knows him better than I do.

Parents know their children. Period.

Pre-Marital Work: Don't Make Me Think I'm Crazy

Noisy and bustling, our restaurant choice proved to be quite a challenge for us to focus on the work we had to do today. Chuck and I met to write one of the contracts at the end of a chapter in the book, "Discovering a Dynamic Marriage. "

We met for lunch at what we thought was going to be a quiet restaurant. The only booth available was behind the server station, and next to the door of the kitchen. We tried sitting side-by-side, but that didn't work either. It got louder, and there were several people who Chuck knew there. We finished our lunch and headed out to find a quieter place. We drove to his office, and it was quiet and we were able to forge ahead and had a great conversation.

Honesty was the main topic. To have a truly intimate marriage we need to be honest with ourselves first. We talked about facing past hurts and things in our lives that have changed us, looking realistically at who we are and why, and then sharing that with each other.

This requires trust and respect. We have to trust each other enough to share it, and we have to respect what the other is saying, even if it doesn't feel very good at the time. And when that happens, we need to be able to talk about why it doesn't feel good to us, and what our needs are.

Our busy lives can sometimes lead us to lose focus, but the first contract we wrote addressed our need to connect and spend time with each other for a minimum amount of time each week, and to make our time together a priority. We believe that by holding to that contract, our ability to remain honest will become easy and natural for us.

One of the topics in the book is called "Crazy Making." Couples who have a connection can sense when something is wrong in the relationship, or if the spouse or loved one is having some sort of trouble. Crazy Making happens when that loved one denies that something is wrong when asked. You know you can feel that something isn't right, and when the person dismisses your concern you begin to second guess yourself. This is completely unfair. It's dishonest, and only creates more problems for the relationship. By the time you find out the truth, and you always eventually do, the trust has been damaged.

We agreed to have some code words if there is really a legitimate reason to keep a secret. These are only in cases of a surprise gift or party. When asked we will respond with something like, "This is something for you, and that's all I can say right now."

We also talked about my desire to let some things go. Everyone has to do what is best for them and their situation. I believe women are a true gift in all areas of society, and I have enjoyed a lot of work I've done with organizations that were predominantly made up of women. I don't think we should go back to the days when women were not valued as contributors to the workforce and our society.
I'm just spread too thin. I'm a doer, and I hate to sit by and watch when I know I could be helping. It's a gift and a curse, I guess.

I work part-time. I commute quite a distance each way, and spend a LOT of my life on the road. Because we travel over a toll bridge I stay in town most days to avoid paying twice to go over the bridge, because once I'm finished with work, I still have to pick Sean up from school in town. Getting home can take up to an hour some days, if I have to stop for anything on the way home.

I've been in a leadership role at church, but haven't felt like much of a leader at all because I'm so busy. I'm part of two other organizations that meet regularly. This is going to be my last year for at least one of them. I'm still deciding on the other. And I am planning to cut back on some of my work at church.

I truly don't know how people hold their marriages together when they are pulled in so many directions. For me, I need to be home more. I have a real need to be taking care of things at home, and I hate feeling that nothing I'm doing is being done well.

Lazy photographer

I have always been a fan of photos, and love to take photos of most of the outings we enjoy, but lately I'm constantly forgetting my camera. Must be all the change, and barrage of things on my mind with all of the activities coming up this summer.

We've had Chuck's son, Alex, and his wife Cass here for several weekends in a row. It's great to have them in town. They moved here from San Diego and we hope to get to spend a lot of time with them while they are here. I haven't gotten any good pictures yet.

Last weekend Lilly was in a pageant and I forgot my camera. Sean got some pics with my iphone.

We hosted a big family gathering here on Sunday, and I didn't think of pictures until everyone was already gone. It was quite a crowd of Chuck's family, and even a couple of my family members and one of our crew members from the business. Chuck enjoys cooking for these big events. I am the assistant, and glad to be in that role. I enjoy cooking, but I'm not very good at planning for a large crowd and am happy to hand that responsibility off to him. The party was a pre-planning party for the huge family reunion that we will host this year. There is a lot to do, and we're having a work party soon to finish the tree house and get the kid area ready for the summer.

Our weather has been a little cooler than what I would like, but I'm thankful for the moderate temperatures. On Sunday we had a clear afternoon with warm sunshine, but as the party was starting to wind down the clouds arrived. I keep a sweater nearby year-round.

The kids are out of school now, and I'm hoping we can do some fun things this summer. Yesterday I treated them to a day of thrift store shopping. They both enjoy it, though Lilly enjoys it more. She found some shoes and some hair care items like a hair straightener. Sean is content to just stay home all the time and play. But he found some great deals on a couple of toys, and a belt that looks new. He tried it on in the store and I didn't think any more about it, and after we got to the car he cried out, "Oh no! I forgot to pay for the belt." He ran back in and I was really proud of him for doing the right thing. It didn't even occur to him not to go back inside to pay for it.

The kids brought out the tent and have enjoyed camping in the back yard. It's so nice that they get along so well. Sean loves it when Lilly is here. The camping is quite comical. They have a power cord snaked through the door of the tent, and we positioned it on the gazebo in case of rain. They love sleeping out there, and I think the dogs are enjoying it, too.

I am going for my camera now to get a picture of the tent setup.